


Persona 5 Shuake oneshots

by Akeppi



Category: Persona 5
Genre: I'll be trying to update these tags soon, M/M, Oneshot Prompts, these oneshots are all over the place in content
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-31
Updated: 2021-03-17
Packaged: 2021-03-18 10:54:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 18
Words: 26,739
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29117082
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Akeppi/pseuds/Akeppi
Summary: This is, like the title says, just a collection of Shuake oneshots that have no timing correlation to one another. Summaries of individual oneshots will be at the beginning of the chapter. Originally posted on Tumblr.Prompt source (unless otherwise mentioned):https://raekenden.tumblr.com/post/157696392567/prompts-for-writing
Relationships: Akechi Goro/Amamiya Ren, Akechi Goro/Persona 5 Protagonist, Kitagawa Yusuke/Sakamoto Ryuji
Comments: 27
Kudos: 22





	1. 92. “I vote today be a pajama day.”

**Author's Note:**

> Wow, the title is so creative, right? Haha. I've never been good with naming things. These oneshots have been posted on Tumblr in the past, but I wanted to group them all together and have been wanting to get onto AO3 for months now. Anyway, on with the first of this "series" of oneshots!
> 
> 92 (original post date Jul. 11th, 2020): Goro has a free day to do whatever he wants. He wants to spend it with his boyfriend, maybe going to the arcade or something. Ren, however, has other plans.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 92 (original post date Jul. 11th, 2020): Goro has a free day to do whatever he wants. He wants to spend it with his boyfriend, maybe going to the arcade or something. Ren, however, has other plans.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, the title is so creative, right? Haha. I've never been good with naming things. These oneshots have been posted on Tumblr in the past, but I wanted to group them all together and have been wanting to get onto AO3 for months now. Anyway, on with the first of this "series" of oneshots!

Sunlight streaming into the room is what wakes me up this morning. Normally, I would have been awake much earlier. Today is an exception, as I blearily remember. I rub my eyes with one hand to try and wipe away the excessive moisture. My other arm is still trapped within the comforting embrace of the person next to me. I turn my head as I sense them shifting positions. I’m met with the slate-gray eyes of my boyfriend peeking out from under his mess of tousled black hair. Ren’s gaze is unfocused as if he just woke up from hibernation. My stirring must have woken him up. He would sleep until noon if I gave him the opportunity. “Oh, good morning, sleepyhead,” I say. I can’t help but laugh as he yawns in response, not quite awake enough to reply adequately. “Did you sleep well?”

I can tell the moment he’s truly awake because his face immediately brightens up as if my presence alone is enough to make him happy. It still shocks me. “Mhmm…though I always do when you’re here.”

…I envy how easily he sleeps.

Ren moves to check his phone for a second. He looks confused at me for a brief moment before that happy expression from earlier reappears. He looks giddy as he says, “You have today off, don’t you?”

That’s right. It’s such a rarity to have the whole day free to do as I please. “Sae-san may have suggested I take the day off,” I reply noncommittally.

“Suggested?”

“Okay, she forced me.” If it had been up to me, I would have worked today. Sae-san can be…quite stubborn, to say the least. She didn’t take no for an answer. It’s the only reason why I’m still here in bed rather than on the subway mentally preparing for the day. Ren chuckles knowingly at this. My tone is somewhat irritable as I ask, “What?”

“I’m glad.”

“You’re glad she refused to let me work today?”

“Yeah.” His expression is now deceptively indifferent. “I miss you when you’re at work.”

“You’re so damn impatient.”

“Am I not allowed to miss the one I love?”

“And sentimental.”

“But you love me.” That smug little smirk peeks through his neutral facade. I huff in annoyance, refusing to give him an answer simply out of spite. He knows the answer anyway. “So does this mean I can spend the day with you?”

“I suppose so. We should go somewhere together,” I say as I move to get out of bed. I’ve stayed here long enough. However, I run into some unexpected resistance in the form of Ren still holding onto me. Figures. He refuses to let go. “What now?” I ask, a bit of annoyance seeping into my voice.

“Why can’t we just stay here?”

The look on his face is so sad it’s almost pitiable. The corners of his lips curl down; combined with the eyes pleading up at me, his expression can almost be considered a pout. It has little effect. “How about we go to the arcade? It could be quite enjoyable.”

He immediately shakes his head at my suggestion. “No. I vote today be a pajama day.”

 _Pajama day?_ “What are you talking about?”

“Pajama day! It’s where you stay at home all day in your pajamas and just relax.”

“What’s the point in such a ridiculous day?” I roll my eyes while shaking my head. Of course, he would enjoy a foolish idea like that. Why wouldn’t he? Ren’s been doggedly persistent in his attempts to convince me to dress casually for a change of pace. He has yet to succeed.

“Because it’ll get you to stay here. With me.”

“You do realize we don’t have to stay at home to be with each other, yes?”

It takes him a moment to respond. “Yeah…but I want to cuddle.”

And there is the ulterior motive: Ren wants to cuddle. I’m not surprised. His desire to give physical affection is almost akin to an addiction. I’m not about to admit that he has me hooked, too. “Is that why you’re declaring it pajama day?”

“Yup!”

As honest as ever. I can’t help but wonder what the appeal to this pajama day is. There’s only one way to find out. “Very well.”

“Huh?” It’s rare to see him so surprised. I take it as a personal victory.

“Let’s have a pajama day. You better not disappoint.”

I know I am not imagining the mischievous smirk on Ren’s face as he replies, “Trust me. I won’t.”


	2. 35. "You're beautiful, you know that?"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 35 (original post date Jul. 18th, 2020): When trying to attend online classes, the last thing that Goro would want is to be distracted, even if he already knows the class material. Unfortunately, when there is the menace that is Ren, that is just about impossible.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well. Apparently, the first chapter can't have its own summary, but the later chapters can? Well then. I have no idea really how this site works but that is good I guess. I still really like this one even if it is one of my oldest ones. I don't know why. Maybe it's just the scenario that gives me joy. Okay, now on with this oneshot!

It’s moments like this when I regret taking a class online.

I’m sitting on the futon, attempting to listen to the conversation going on through Zoom. “Why do I have to listen to this again?” I mutter to myself, running a hand through my bangs. This is absurd. Thank god my microphone on this cheap headset I bought is currently muted. This is information I already know, but I have to appear like I’m invested in the material. Even though I may not be the detective prince I once was, I do care about being successful in class. That means trying to pay attention.

Unfortunately, a certain someone has other plans.

“Hi, Akeppi,” Ren whispers in my exposed ear as he sits next to me. He wraps his arms around me as he leans his head on my shoulder. If he’s trying to be a distraction, it’s working.

“Go away, Ren,” I hiss. The last thing I need is for him to know the microphone is muted.

“No.”

“Ren-”

“No. Let me love you.” He nuzzles my neck in his attempts to be as distracting as possible.

“I’m in class.”

“I know.”

“And?”

“You’re beautiful, you know that?”

I barely even give him so much as a compulsory glance. “I know what you’re planning, Ren. It won’t work. Flattery will get you nowhere.”

“You leave me no choice,” he says just before gently placing a kiss right below my jawline.

I instantly freeze. When Ren gives that first neck kiss, it goes one of two ways. They are either many extremely ticklish kisses or they turn into hickeys. There’s never a middle ground. I wouldn’t be so concerned if it weren’t for the fact that I’m currently in a Zoom session for my class. Neither neck kiss is desirable at this moment. I believe I can keep quiet if it’s the hickeys, but I know that, if he goes for the ticklish kisses, I can only hold out for so long before my own charade is up.

It’s with the next kiss, soft and light, that I realize with dread that Ren is deciding to go for the ticklish route. My chest heaves as I try to keep myself from verbally reacting to the kisses he trails around my neck. I nearly break down into helpless giggling as his lips find my throat. I can tell he’s smirking as he continues to leave his feather-light kisses on my throat.

This goes on for a minute before Ren stops. I almost feel relieved until I see the impish quirk of his mouth. “Are you ticklish anywhere else?” he quietly asks with utmost innocence. I give him a withering glare in response. There’s no way in hell I’m telling him that. Besides, he’s still under the assumption that the microphone is still on. He waits five seconds for me to give a verbal response before his mouth twists into a menacing smirk. “If that’s how you’re gonna be…I’ll just have to find out!”

_Shit!_ I don’t even have a chance to protest before his fingers are dancing all over my body. He’s clearly trying to find my weakness first. To be honest, I don’t know where to keep him away from. I haven’t been tickled like this since I was little, so I don’t know where I’m most vulnerable. All I know is he can see through my every reaction. I tense as he starts with the underarms; I try to keep still when he goes for the stomach.

It’s when his hands make their way under my shirt and his fingers brush against my sides that a breathy laugh escapes me as I flinch.

Ren pauses for a brief moment. In that second, I come to the realization that I need to move now before he reacts. I lurch, trying to get away, but he’s the leader of the Phantom Thieves for a reason. He’s quick. He grabs a hold of me with one arm and uses his free hand to run his fingers along my side. “Fuhuhuck-” I say just before I burst into an uncontrollable fit of giggles.

“Aww, you’re so cute!” Ren’s voice is teasingly light, just like the fingers scribbling little shapes on my side.

“Stohohohop!”

“I should let them hear you. Your laugh is so adorable. I’m sure they’d love it, too!”

“Nohohohohohoho!” Damnit, he knows!? He wouldn’t dare, would he? I already know the answer to that question: he would. He fucking would. I immediately go to throw off the headset, but my arms are pinned in his hold. Seeing no other alternative, I slam my laptop shut using my feet. If anyone asks, I’ll say the Internet died. “Gehehet ohohohohoff!”

“Mmm, not yet. You’re too cute when you’re blushing.” Ren deftly pulls the headset off and sets it on the laptop. It’s at that point I begin to thrash and squirm. I almost escape, but my freedom is short-lived as he pins me down to the futon from above. The grin on his face is nothing short of triumphant. It’s as if he expected this. “Nuh-uh. You’re not getting away.”

“I’m going to kill you for this.” I try to sound threatening, but I highly doubt it’s succeeding. I’m panting too much after having giggled so hard, and the blushing can’t be helping.

“But you won’t.”

I huff, knowing he’s right. “Get off me, you little shit.”

“No. I wanna hear you laugh some more.” His smile is almost menacing as he resumes his prior tickling, and it’s only a matter of time before my giggling turns into embarrassingly hysterical laughter and squealing.


	3. 42. "It's midnight! Where the hell were you?"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 42 (original post date Jul. 25, 2020): Ren, with his many part-time jobs, was working at Crossroads tonight. Goro knows that Ren wouldn't be back until late, but he's usually never this late. It's nearly midnight, and Ren has yet to show up. So where could he be?

_Where is he?_

I look up at the clock for what has to be the hundredth time. It’s nearly midnight and Ren has yet to come home. He was working over at that one bar in Shinjuku, Crossroads. I made it clear that I didn’t like him working evenings there, but he always said he’s careful and the owner always sent him home before any undesirable people started to prowl the streets of the red-light district. He should have been home a few hours ago, but he still hasn’t returned. I glance at the clock yet again. Only a minute has passed since I last checked. I sigh in exasperation. If anyone were to ask, I’m not currently pacing. Even if I were, which…I guess I am, it’s not like I’m pacing because I’m worried. My mind is definitely not thinking of all the terrible things that could befall Ren. He could have been jumped by-no, he can handle himself. For all I know, the trains were running late and he’ll be home soon, perfectly fine.

_So why the hell is he so late!?_

I whip around as I hear the door open. It’s Ren, of course. His hair is somehow more disheveled than usual…and are those twigs sticking out of it? Furthermore, his face almost looks as badly scratched as the time I accidentally slapped him in the face while I was in the black mask outfit. Something clearly happened to him. He gives an infuriatingly cute smile as he closes the door behind him as if he isn’t hours late getting back home from work. “Honey, I’m-”

“It’s midnight! Where the hell were you?” I snap, not in the mood for his typical flirty greeting.

“Uh…something came up.”

“Something? For at least three hours? No. What the hell, Ren!?”

“Goro, please-”

“Don’t tell me some sleazy piece of shit tried to-”

“No, nothing like that!” He holds his hands up in an attempt to reassure me, but it does little good. His hands are scratched up just like his face.

“Then why the hell were you gone for so long? And what happened to you?”

We stand there in silence as I wait for Ren to mentally compose his response. I know his story is going to be absurdly over-the-top just like him. Ren finally breaks the silence. “So, I was switching lines when I saw a cat.”

“Oh god.” I can already see where this is going, but I let him continue.

“She was stuck in a tree and meowing.”

“She?”

“Yeah. The cat, a little kitten, is a she. She got tangled in some netting on the tree. I couldn’t just leave her there. So I climbed the tree.”

“Let me guess. She scratched you for your troubles.”

“She might have.” He looks away sheepishly. “Once I got her free, she was nice. She was purring a lot.”

“So what did you do with the cat when you freed her?”

“About that,” he says, placing his bag on the table and opening it. Inside is a tiny tortoiseshell kitten.

“Ren. We already have Morgana.”

“But look at her! She’s cute, like you!”

I don’t think I imagine the little smirk on his face as mine gets hot. “It doesn’t matter if she is cute or not. Someone probably is worrying over their cat being missing. We should find out who her owner is.”

“I already tried. That’s why it took so long. No one claimed her. Come on, please?”

Ren looks at me pleadingly as he picks up the kitten. He holds her so lovingly. Damnit, he’s already attached to her. It’s the kitten’s gray eyes peering up at me that push me over the edge. “Fine, fine. But you’re taking care of her, and if we find the owner, you’re giving her back. Deal?”

“Deal!”

I can’t help smiling as a huge grin splits his face. Hesitantly, I pet the little kitten. She immediately starts to purr, rubbing her head against my hand. Her fur is so soft and fluffy. “May I?” I ask, moving my hand under her belly. Ren nods as I gently take the kitten from him. “You’re too damn sweet and considerate for your own good.” I may be staring at the kitten in my arms, but my comment is clearly meant for Ren.

“Is that supposed to be a compliment or an insult?”

“Yes.” I absentmindedly continue to pet the kitten. “You’re going to have to give her a name.”

“I’ll think of something.”


	4. 10. “I think I’m in love with you and I’m terrified.”

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 10 (original post date Aug. 1st, 2020): 2/3. This day normally wouldn't mean anything, but it's become important for Ren and Goro. Today's the day where everything would change as the Phantom Thieves fight to take back their true reality.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Note: As this takes place on the day of the final boss fight, there are Persona 5 Royal spoilers in this chapter! You have been warned.

Small potatoes… Of all the things I could be thinking about on my last day alive, potatoes were the last thing I would have expected.

Yet here I am, thinking about small potatoes. Not the kind that you can eat, but the phrase that had been thrown in my face yesterday when I had implied that my life wasn’t worth anything. Did Ren even realize what that phrase can reference? Love is not a potato; you cannot throw it out the window. Death is not a potato… “This isn’t small potatoes,” he said. Was he trying to imply more with such a stupid phrase, or am I just overthinking every single word that comes out of his mouth? I may never know.

Soon, it won’t matter anyway.

I force myself to stop thinking about some stupid potatoes and instead stare down at my phone. Not that the name of the person who’s currently open in my contacts is helping in that regard. _Ren Amamiya._

What am I even doing? I shouldn’t be bothering him now. He’s probably going to school at the moment. I’ll see him later with the rest of the Phantom Thieves anyway. This is ridiculous. My own sentimentality is starting to piss me off, yet I find myself wanting to hear Ren’s voice right now. I don’t know what spurs me to do this, but before I know it, I’ve pressed the call button. It doesn’t even ring a second time when the call is answered. “Akeppi!” Ren says in a way of greeting. I can practically hear the happy grin that probably spread on his face when he saw I was calling him.

“Ren. Are you at school yet?”

“No, I’m still at Leblanc.”

The next words out of my mouth surprise me. “Would you…want to spend some time together? Before the fight against Maruki. There are…some things I need to tell you.”

“Sure. I’d love to.”

“Should we meet somewhere other than Leblanc? I doubt Sakura-san will let you skip your classes so easily.” I don’t want Ren to get in trouble for accepting my selfish request at the last minute.

“No, he’ll understand,” he says, completely sure of himself. It helps alleviate my concerns. “I’ll be waiting for you.”

“Very well. I’ll be there soon.” I hang up before I get a chance to hear if he replies. Right now, I just want to focus on getting from Kichijoji to Yongen-Jaya. That’s all.

I haven’t even been on the platform for ten seconds before the train arrives, and I even manage to get a seat. There aren’t as many people as there usually are. My mind is all too inclined to view this as another of Maruki’s machinations. It’s yet another one of those small events trying to persuade me to stop rebelling and accept this sickening reality as the truth. I’ll decide the truth for myself. I will choose my own path, and it sure as hell isn’t going to be this one fabricated for everyone’s so-called happiness. I refuse to be controlled by another any longer, whether it’s Shido or Maruki.

The trek to Leblanc is rather uneventful. I walk into the little back-alley cafe as if this were any normal day. Ren is waiting for me, sitting in the same booth that he had been sitting in with Maruki yesterday. I shove the memory aside for now. “Hey,” I say, my voice probably sounding more tired than I would like.

Sakura-san looks up from the coffee distiller before looking knowingly at Ren. “Why don’t you two head upstairs?” he says. It seems Ren was able to convince him after all. “That way you won’t be bothered by the customers.”

The look on Ren’s face is almost cheeky as he replies, “What customers?”

“Go on, scram. You should be glad I let you stay home.”

“I know. Come on, Akeppi,” he says to me as he grabs ahold of my wrist, eagerly pulling me along behind him as he leads me upstairs. 

It’s still disconcerting being here with only Ren. He gestures for me to sit down next to him on his bed. I hesitantly sit beside him. How he can be okay with me being so close to him, especially when I have tried to kill him on multiple occasions, is beyond me. I look around the dusty attic that is Ren’s room and am surprised to see no sign of a certain black and white feline. “Where’s Morgana?” I ask.

“Oh, he’s hanging out with Futaba,” he says before diving right into the reason I came here in the first place. “So what’s up? I didn’t think you’d ask me to play hooky.”

“Normally I wouldn’t, but…” I trail off, unsure of how I want to phrase what I’m about to say.

“Goro…?”

“Promise me that you won’t change your stance on fighting Maruki when I say this.”

“I told you we’re stopping him.”

That’s not what I mean. “And you won’t back down?”

“Goro, just tell me.”

I steel myself for these next words. I’ve never said them before. I tried in the past to bundle my complicated feelings for the Phantom Thieves’ leader as intense hate and jealousy. After that, I told myself it was simply the necessity of teamwork that was required to take down Maruki. We had a deal. That’s all. Ha, what a load of bullshit that was. I finally have come to terms with these feelings inside my tattered heart. My voice is barely even a hushed whisper as I speak. “I think I’m in love with you and I’m terrified.”

I’m watching Ren so closely that I get to see the exact moment everything clicks in his head. I haven’t seen him look so surprised since he first saw me after my supposed death. “You love me too?”

Too. I’ve known for a while about his feelings towards me. For months, he’s told me over and over how much he enjoys my company and how he’d always make time for me. Every time I texted him, a response came almost immediately as if he was waiting for me. Don’t even get me started on the aftermath of the fight we had in Shido’s palace. He cried. It’s the only time I’ve ever witnessed him break down as Joker. Ren has always made his feelings clear, whereas I have denied them and hid them from everyone…until now. “Yes. I do.”

“And that terrifies you?” I simply nod in response. Ren continues to probe at the issue, his natural selflessness making it impossible for him to leave the matter be. His next question is more of a statement like it’s something he believes true yet isn’t sure of its validity. “It isn’t because you want to hate me, is it?”

“No.”

“And you won’t let this stop you from rejecting Maruki’s offer.”

“Absolutely not.”

“Is it because of me?”

Ren’s as perceptive as ever. It’s all because of him, though I’m not sure exactly what he means by his question. “Elaborate.”

“You’re afraid I’m gonna change my mind. That I’ll accept this reality.” I let my silence be the answer to this. “That’s it, isn’t it?”

“Yes,” I finally spit out. There’s so much repressed anger in that one word and I’m sure he can hear it too.

“Goro, you know I don’t break my promises.”

At this, I snarl, “Your indecisiveness yesterday was more than enough to prove it a possibility.”

“I wouldn’t-”

“Bullshit!” I have no idea what’s come over me or how to stop it, so I do what I do best nowadays: push people away from me. “I know, deep down, you want this. You’re afraid I’m going to disappear the moment we win against Maruki.”

“I-”

“Don’t tell me I’m wrong! Do you think you can fool me again? Maruki said it himself. Your wish was to have a fresh start with me, where I never committed any of my crimes and everything is infuriatingly perfect. You can’t possibly think I would be happy with that! I don’t deserve any of-!”

“Goro, listen to me!” He isn’t yelling, but he has that authoritative tone he gets as Joker. Not once have I heard it outside the Metaverse. It’s so unexpected that I can’t help but go silent, letting him finally speak. “You’re not wrong…if I could, I’d choose to stay here,” he says, not as Joker the Phantom Thief, but as Ren Amamiya the high schooler who shouldn’t have to decide the fate of the world yet again. “I don’t want to lose you again… But this is what you want. I want you to be happy, Goro. If that means fighting Maruki, then I’ll do it. For you.”

I’m…not sure how to respond to that. He is being completely honest with me, that much I know for certain. He’s not doing this because he wants to, but when has he ever done anything for selfish reasons? To think he would go so far as to sacrifice his one chance of eternal happiness for someone like me. It’s almost unbelievable. “Ren…”

“You don’t have to be afraid. I’ll always be by your side.” He runs a gentle finger down my eye, wiping away the tears I hadn’t even noticed were forming. “You’ll never be alone again.”

I know Ren means it. I can’t come up with anything to say to that, so I simply don’t respond. If only I could say the same to him. It would be a lie if I did, though. There’s absolutely no guarantee that I’ll be able to do that after today. All the evidence points to the contrary. “So, we’re stopping Maruki?” I ask before the silence becomes awkward.

“That’s what I said, isn’t it?”

“You did say that. I simply wanted to confirm it.”

“No matter how many times you ask, the answer’s gonna be the same.” Ren looks at me with the most loving expression I have ever seen directed towards me, one full of the warmth and compassion I had been missing for most of my life before I met him. “Do you have anywhere to go before that?”

“No,” I reply with a shake of my head. “I know I’ve probably overstayed my welcome, but…if this is my final day, I want to spend it with you. If that’s okay with you, that is.”

“I wouldn’t want it any other way.”

We lay there for some time in comfortable silence. One of his arms holds me in a tender embrace while the other runs a hand through my hair. Both of my arms are wrapped around Ren. I don’t plan on letting go of him until I have to. For the first time in months, I feel almost relaxed. I never want this moment to end. But I know that it will have to end, and then we’ll have to fight for our true reality. I just hope that it has a place for us and for moments like this.


	5. 31. “Wanna, like- I mean, if you’re not busy…we could get lunch? Or even just coffee if you don’t have a lot of time?”

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 31 (original post date Aug. 8th, 2020): I don't really have a summary for this one. It's just a cute little reaction between Goro and Ren and that's it. Have at it.

Yon-Germain…I haven’t been to the bakery for some time. The only reason I’m even here in Shibuya station is that I have a rare Sunday off for myself. The weather wasn’t cooperating for a bike ride; it’s been raining since late last night. I mull over their selection for today, unsure what I should purchase. No one has seemed to notice me yet. Either that or people don’t care, which seems far more likely considering my popularity has just about hit rock bottom.

“Hi!” A voice calls out from nearby. It seems someone has noticed me after all. I recognize it, of course. Ren smiles as he waves to get my attention.

“Oh, hello, Amamiya-kun.”

“I told you, just call me Ren.”

“Very well, _Amamiya-kun_.”

“ _Goro_ ,” he says, practically whining. For some reason, I find myself chuckling at his reaction. “Come on. We’re friends, aren’t we?”

“Friends…?” Does he really see me as a friend?

“You say that like you’re not sure.”

That’s because I’m not sure in the slightest. Are we friends? I’ve never had any genuine friendships before. My “friends” were superficial at best, and now the one person I shouldn’t be befriending is saying we’re friends with no hint of deception or subterfuge. “Sorry, it just startled me. We can be friends if that’s how you want to see it.”

“Goro,” he whines yet again, “you’re supposed to wanna be my friend, too.”

“Who says I don’t, Ren?”

He instantly perks up. “You said it!”

I have to wonder why he’s so excited about that. He has more than enough people to keep him company, both with the Phantom Thieves and within the general public. Why would he need or desire a friendship with me? I know exactly who he is, and I’ve made my views of his group clear. Yet here he is, wanting to be my friend. I doubt he would want to be my friend if he knew of my actions the other day with…

“So,” Ren speaks up, interrupting my internal monologue as he hugs me from behind, his head resting on my shoulder. When did he even get behind me? “What are you doing here?”

“Oh, I was simply debating what I want to get for lunch,” I say, making sure I don’t stammer my response. I’m extremely aware of Ren’s arms around me, his hands resting gently on my stomach. I wonder if, with how perceptive he is, he notices my heartbeat quicken. Is he always this way with his friends?

“Anything good?”

“Well, there’s always the fruit danish. And they have their moist katsu bun since it’s raining today.” I turn my head to side-eye him, trying to ignore the feeling of his fluffy black hair tickling my cheek. “Why, have you not eaten yet?”

“Um…” He pauses, deep in thought for a moment. “I had curry for breakfast. Does that count?”

“Ren, you,” I start, only for my mind to go blank as Ren licks his upper lip while staring directly at me. For a split second, the look on his face is almost…mischievous? Flirtatious? Maybe even amorous? As soon as I think it, the expression is gone. Perhaps my imagination is running a little too wild. I’m still rattled as I start to speak again. “Wanna, like- I mean, if you’re not busy…we could get lunch? Or even just coffee if you don’t have a lot of time?”

“I’ll always have time for you, Goro,” he says almost immediately. “And if I don’t, I’ll make time.”

“I wouldn’t want to bother you.”

“You don’t bother me. I love being with you.”

_You love being with the affable ace detective you see me as._ The thought comes unbidden. I ignore it for now. “If you insist. Where would you like to go?”

“How about that cafe from before?”

“Cafe…? Oh, you mean-”

“The place where I did this.” He snickers as he moves a hand to playfully ruffle my hair a little.

“Don’t remind me,” I groan, immediately pushing my hair back in place. “That was embarrassing. But yes, we can go there if you want.”

“Okay. I’m paying for us.”

I blink in surprise. “No, you aren’t.”

“Yes, I am.”

“I can’t allow you to do that. I’m the one that asked you out.”

“Oh? Is this supposed to be a date, Mr. Detective?” he asks with the most seductive tone I have ever heard from him.

“N-No, of course not!” I hope no one notices the blush forming on my cheeks. “This is simply two friends having lunch, nothing more.”

Ren laughs at my flustered reaction. “Okay, okay. But I’m still paying for both of us,” he says with no room for argument. He grabs my wrist and drags me along after him, grinning from ear to ear. I can’t help but smile back, and it’s not one of the camera-perfect fake smiles I give so readily. It’s genuine. I know I won’t forget today anytime soon.


	6. 96. "I saw that. You just checked me out."

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 96 (original post date Aug. 15th, 2020): Finished for the day in Sae's Palace, Crow notices something...interesting about Joker. Joker, of course, notices Crow's gaze. Joker is a menace. That's all that needs to be said on the matter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I said this once in the summary and I'll say it again. This boy is a goddamn menace. I love him. And I still love this prompt. I mean, come on. You can't tell me that Joker wouldn't notice Crow, and I quote, "staring at his ass" and wouldn't tease Crow about it.

“That takes care of that,” I remark as the leopard-like Shadow crumbles. It explodes into black wisps from Robin Hood’s power piercing its chest. If this is the strongest that Sae’s Palace has, then this will be easier than I thought.

Mona looks up at me. “You’re not so bad,” he remarks.

“And I am capable of much more,” I reply, letting a little bit of my cockiness show. Much more than they can possibly imagine, more than the Phantom Thieves will ever see. “Now then, let us deal with the Shadows quickly.”

“Wait,” Panther interrupts. “Doesn’t it sound like we’re gonna get ambushed based on what we heard earlier?”

“I agree,” Queen adds. “I’d like to deal with them as quick as we can… But now that we have an infiltration route, I’d suggest we return for now and prepare.”

Her suggestion makes sense, even if I know I could tear my way through this Palace on my own power. “Very well, I trust your experience and judgment. Let us do that.”

With a nod, Joker says, “Let’s go.” Everyone begins to depart, but I continue to stand by the elevator. Something has been on my mind, and it has been bothering me since our outfits first changed. Joker is the first to notice my absence. He stops. A worried look appears on his face. “Crow?”

“Yo! You comin’, Joker?” Skull calls out. He is waiting by the stairs heading up alongside the rest of the thieves.

“Go on ahead. We’ll meet you at the entrance,” he replies with a wave of his hand. They obey without another word, although Mona gives a somewhat concerned look at us before leaving. Joker waits until they’ve left before asking, “What’s wrong?”

Now that it’s just us, I walk right up to Joker, getting almost in his face. I’m finally able to confirm my suspicions. “You’re taller than me.”

“Hmm? I’ve always been taller.”

“No, I distinctly remember you being slightly shorter than me by about an inch.”

“I grew.”

“In the last two minutes?”

“Yes?”

“I highly doubt that.” I take a step back and look down at his boots. As I suspected, they have a rather noticeable heel on them. “Really, Joker? Really?”

“What?”

“Are the heels truly necessary?”

“Maybe. Why?” he asks and, with a smirk that only Joker can pull off, rests his arms on my shoulders as he whispers the next question in my ear. “Does it bother you that I’m taller?”

“We should probably leave now,” I blurt while pulling away from him. This close proximity is sending shivers down my spine, and I don’t have the time to investigate why that is. Besides, there’s no way I’m giving him the satisfaction of knowing that, yes, it does. It irritates me immensely. It already bothers me that Fox is taller, although at least he never mentions it. He doesn’t care. Joker, meanwhile, is the type of person who would probably wear heels in the real world just to mess with me. I’m not letting that become a possibility.

“Okay.” I’m surprised that he leaves it at that. He turns and walks over to the stairs. I don’t initially follow after him. Something about the Phantom Thief leader is grabbing my attention, though what is it? Is it the way he exudes confidence that Ren normally represses? Perhaps it’s the way he holds himself like he’s about to take on the entire world and win in style just because he can. Or maybe it’s his outfit that I’m now taking notice of. One of these days those flaps on his coat are going to get stuck in a door. Oh wait, is it-

“I saw that. You just checked me out.”

I blink, startled. I hadn’t even realized that Joker’s now leaning on the stair railing, looking back at me with mild amusement. “I did not,” I say, barely refraining from snapping the response.

“Yeah, you did.”

“I was not checking you out.”

“Then what were you doing besides staring at my ass?”

“I was not staring.”

“Were too.”

“No. I simply noticed you walk like a girl.” At the confused tilt of his head, I elaborate. “The coat mostly obscures it, but you definitely sway your hips while walking.”

“You’re one to talk.”

“Excuse me, but I don’t have a feminine walk nor heeled boots like you do.”

“Maybe not,” he acquiesces, but he doesn’t seem bothered by his admission. He strides over to me, placing his hands on my hips. What is he scheming? The cheeky smirk that creeps onto his face concerns me. “But you do have feminine hips.”

I stare at him, flabbergasted. “W-What?”

“You heard me.”

His hands shift ever so slightly. The movement draws my attention back to the sensation. I can hear him chuckle as I tilt my head down in an attempt to hide the blush dusting my cheeks. “How would you even know something like that?”

“I see things, and you didn’t deny it.”

“It should be obvious that your statement is false.”

“You also have feminine hands,” he adds, taking my left hand in his right. His other hand is still on my hips. His fingers tap idly against my side as he looks deep in thought. “Is that why you wear those gloves all the time?”

“That is not the reason. Besides, my hands are completely normal.”

“Then why do you?”

“Am I not allowed to wear them just because I like them?” I yank my hand away and push Joker’s hand off my hips before he gets any ideas. His lower lip twitches a little as if he’s bothered by this. I pretend I don’t notice this trivial change. Why does it matter anyway? It’s not like I care or anything. “It’s definitely not because of something like having slender hands. Your assumption is wrong.”

Something about this seems to snap Joker out of whatever sour mood he was just in. “But you do, and it’s perfect.”

I’m foolish enough to take the bait he’s laid for me. “How would such a thing be perfect?”

“Because,” he says while grabbing ahold of both my hands this time, “they fit so well in mine!”

My face flushes red at his response. It’s even worse because he is correct. Something about this gesture seems right…like it’s meant to be this way. I want nothing more than to agree, but this isn’t going to end in a way he desires. Instead, I respond, “You’re delusional.”

“No, I’m not. Weren’t you the one who said ‘we seem to share some kind of bond’?” Those were my exact words a couple of months ago. How he remembers I have no idea. He brushes a hand along my cheek, his smile turning into a smirk as my face heats up even more. “And I didn’t imagine that. You’re blushing, aren’t you?”

“I’m not.”

He beams, seeing right through my lie. “You are! And quite adorably too! You’re so cute!”

“I’m _not_ -” I repeat, scowling. Does he really think that? I hate that I love the possibility. He chuckles in response. “What is it, Joker?”

“You’re cute when you’re angry.”

“Stop calling me cute.”

“Okay… _cutie_ ,” he says while tousling my hair with his free hand.

“Joker-” I try to smooth it down, but he grabs my hand in his own. It’s all too tempting to take my mask and jab him in the eye for this. That wouldn’t be very becoming of an ace detective, though. “I’m not cute.”

“You are too. Did you not see your reaction to finding out the calling card is for more than show?”

“That doesn’t mean I’m cute,” I mutter. Perhaps I went a little overboard on my ‘reaction’. “I told you to stop calling me cute.”

“But I didn’t call you cute earlier.”

“Cute and cutie are practically the same thing.”

“You didn’t say I couldn’t call you a cutie.”

I hate that he has a valid point. “Stop calling me cutie then.”

“Adorable?”

“No.”

“Beautiful?”

“Also no.”

“Precious?”

“Don’t even think about it.”

“Love of my life?”

“Stop joking around, you menace.” If he’s trying to get to me, it’s working. I need to end this conversation now. “The others are probably wondering where we are. Let’s go.”

“Yeah.” He lets go of my hands now. I don’t miss the warmth of his hands holding mine. I _don’t_. He snickers as he proceeds to walk away. I’m confused as to why at first. It’s then I notice his gait. Is the hip-swaying from earlier more…exaggerated this time? When he turns his head and gives me a flirtatious wink, I know that he did it entirely on purpose. I shake my head as I follow after him, knowing I’ll only have to suffer through this for just another month. One more month, though maybe…no. I can’t stop now. Even if this feels so…perfect.


	7. 17. "Your lips are so soft. I could kiss them all day."

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 17 (original post date Aug. 22nd, 2020): Yet another random Shuake interaction oneshot that I don't trust myself trying to give a summary for. All I've got is Ren wants kisses. That is all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I may not be able to give a summary but goddamn can I give dumb notes.  
> "Honey, I'm home" is the best line Persona 5 could have ever given to me, being the Shuake fanatic that I am. Having a chance to use it was the best...even if I almost forgot at the time to include the prompt dialogue in my writing. Whoops?

“Honey, I’m home!”

Hearing this in combination with the bell ringing, I look up from my typical spot in Leblanc to see Ren standing in the doorframe. I can’t stop myself from smiling at my boyfriend’s greeting. My breath catches in my lungs, and my heart skips a beat or two. No matter how many times I hear those words from him, it always elicits the same reaction from me. “You’re back awfully late,” I reply, hoping the response I know he loves will tease that doting smile out of him that I adore so much.

It works. I’d kill for that smile…or perhaps it would be more appropriate to say I’d stop killing if only to see that smile? He sits down on the chair next to me, propping his elbows on the bar and resting his head in his hands. His gray eyes stare up at me from under his glasses. “How’s the world’s most beautiful man doing today?”

In a burst of confidence, I reply, “I don’t know. How are you doing?”

It’s rare for me to try and turn the tables on him like this. His sudden blushing makes it clear he didn’t expect it either. “I’m fine. Even better now that I get to see you,” he adds. “I missed you.”

“Come now, you lived without my presence for a couple of months. You can last a school day without me.”

“But I don’t wanna,” he whines, pouting. “And I missed you every day you were gone. I thought about you all the time.”

“Trust me: I remember.” The hundreds of text messages from him that I had ignored at the time are more than enough proof. I don’t tell him how he had occupied my thoughts, despite my efforts to forget and move on. He already knows. He knows damn well that he’s become an integral part of my life. “You might as well quit complaining, though. Sakura-san won’t let you skip school just because you have a boyfriend now, and as your boyfriend, I’m not letting you skip school to spend time with me.”

“But you-”

“If you want to get into a university, finishing your last year of high school is essential. You have to attend to get good grades.”

“I got top of my class without going for an entire month.”

“And I’m sure that’s very impressive, but you’re not doing that this year.” I know he wants to do well in school, even if apparently he only started being studious after meeting me. He said it was something about wanting to impress me when I had asked. Whatever works, I guess. “You’ll have plenty of time later to be around me.”

“Yeah.” He doesn’t sound too thrilled about having to wait, but I know he’ll persevere. He’s strong like that. “Y’know, we could go to the same university.” He gasps as he comes to some realization. “We could be roommates!”

“Haha, please stop joking around.”

“That wasn’t a joke.”

“Well, it’s a bad idea then.”

The dejected look on his face is almost laughable. “Why?”

“Because if we were,” I reply, gently gripping his chin in my thumb and index finger, tilting his head up so I can look him right in the eyes, “I don’t think I’d be able to keep my hands off you.”

“Akeppi-”

“Yes?” I chuckle as his pout fades away, replaced by a rather cute shocked expression. Deep down, I’m as surprised as he is. Ren’s normally the one who’s the shameless flirt, not me. Where is this even coming from?

He’s silent for a moment. Before I know it, he smirks as he takes my face in between his hands. He’s regained his composure already. “I’m not planning on stopping you. And you wouldn’t be able to keep my hands off you.”

“Is that a challenge?”

“I don’t know.” His smirk widens. The Joker-esque expression reminds me of exactly who I’m dealing with here. “You tell me, detective.”

“Judging by the tone of your voice and the blatant smirk on your face, I think I’m right in saying that it is.” I grab his wrists and move his hands off of my face. It’s a silent, subtle response to the perceived challenge. I don’t intend to lose.

“Oh, I see. I know I’ll be on top, like always.”

It seems he’s picked up on my nonverbal cue. I’m about to say something to his implications when I feel my phone vibrate in my pocket. I grumble a few curse words as I read over the text. “It looks like my time here is being cut short.”

That pained look of Ren’s is back. “Do you have to go?”

“Unfortunately.”

I stand up to leave, but Ren grabs a hold of my wrist as he stands as well. “Wait. Give me a kiss before you go.”

“And why should I do that?”

“Because you love me,” he hums, his tone lowering into more seductive territory.

“Fine, one kiss.” I give him a quick kiss on the cheek before going to pull my hand away. However, Ren refuses to loosen his grip. “What do you want?”

“I want my kiss.”

“I gave you one. Is that not enough for you?”

He shakes his head. “You gave me a kiss on the cheek. I asked for a kiss.”

“What are you talking about? That is a kiss.”

“No, a kiss on the cheek is a kiss on the cheek. I said a kiss.”

“So?”

“A kiss. As in on the lips, Goro.”

Oh, of course, he would. “You never said on the lips.”

“I did too. A kiss is on the lips unless it’s said otherwise.”

“Now you’re making things up.”

“When you hear the word kiss, where do you think it is?”

I stare at him, hating that the first thing that comes to mind is kissing him on the lips just as he implied. I refuse to admit he’s right. “This is ridiculous. To clarify, you want a kiss on the lips, yes?”

He grins, satisfied with this turn of events. “Yup!”

I roll my eyes. “You should have said that the first time,” I mutter before softly kissing Ren…on the lips this time.

He’s satisfied enough to let go of my wrist as I pull away from the kiss. “Your lips are so soft. I could kiss them all day.”

“Well, you can’t right now, but perhaps later tonight…” I trail off, letting him finish the sentence in his head.

He grins, liking whatever outcome he envisioned. “I like where this is going.”

“You’re going to have to wait, though.”

“I know,” he says, sitting back down at his seat with a dramatic huff. Before I can leave, he asks, “Hey, Akeppi?”

“Yeah?”

“I love you.”

“I love you, too. I’ll see you later.”


	8. 38. "Wow, you're hot."

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 38 (original post date Aug. 29th, 2020): It's the last game of Sae's Palace: the battle arena. Only one person is allowed to participate, even if the house doesn't play by their own rules. Joker, being...well, Joker, decides it's time to show off.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh god, this one. Oh god, this one! Oh god do I love this one! You know a man is confident when he stops a fight to flirt with his rival.  
> I will be completely honest I have never been sure of myself when it comes to writing fight scenes. But when my brain was going absolutely nuts over the idea of Joker using his grappling hook in the battle arena of Sae's Palace, I knew I had to try. I had a lot of fun writing this one. The idea drove me insane for the many days I spent on this prompt because wow Joker's hot indeed-I mean what?  
> Okay okay, ignore me I'll shut up now so let's go with this one.

When we had learned that one of the games in Sae’s Palace was a battle arena, I never would have guessed that I wouldn’t be participating. Unfortunately, the rules state that only one person can participate, and, as much as I hate to admit it, Joker’s versatility with his Personas makes him the best candidate. I can’t reveal my secrets now, can I? It would certainly be interesting to see how far I could go massacring my opponents alongside my Persona. That will have to wait for another day.

Instead, I find myself among a cognitive crowd of people and the rest of the Phantom Thieves. The room encircles a central area that likely serves as the battleground for these three fights. I’ve distanced myself from the others, preferring to watch this fight alone. This is the best chance I am going to have to truly watch Joker fight without any distractions. I don’t need the Thieves’ prattling to get in my way.

The simulated crowd erupts into cheering. It’s obvious why. Joker waltzes into the arena like he owns the place. He’s playing the part up for all it’s worth.

“Now then, our gripping battle is finally here! The idiot leader of the adult-defying thieves has come!” an announcer’s voice calls out from over the loudspeakers. Oh, this commentary is going to be good. “Odds are 1.1 to the house, 23.0 to the Phantom Thieves! Wow, the Phantom Thieves are surprisingly popular! It’s rare to see odds in the double digits! Now, let us begin our serious one-on-one battle! Bring out the first contestant!”

The first opponent, or should I say, _opponents_ , appear in the form of two human-sized bipedal elephants. These are the same as the one we fought to get a member’s card in the first place. Joker had called it Ganesha. “Uhhhh, what the hell!?” Skull yells loudly enough for even me to hear him. “There’s two of ‘em!”

Clearly, they weren’t planning on giving Joker a fair fight from the start. That’s not surprising. I had anticipated this happening. I just hope my faith in his skills isn’t misguided. _You better not lose, Joker. I did bet a lot of coins on you._

“Now then, it’s time for this hellish trio of battles to begin!” the announcer continues. “Ready…”

Joker’s eyes unerringly find me in the crowd.

“Set…”

He grins, mouthing “watch this” before turning his attention back to the two Shadows he has to face.

“Go!”

The Ganeshas waste no time rushing at Joker, swords at the ready. He just…stands there, looking around the room. What is he thinking!?

He waits…and waits…

Only when they’re nearly on top of him does he take action. He spins in a clockwise rotation, a thin, nearly invisible line shooting away from his extended left hand and latching onto a beam on the ceiling. I recognize what he’s doing just as he’s lifted into the air by the grappling hook. The Ganeshas end up swiping at empty air, their inertia causing them to nearly trip over their own feet. Joker releases the grappling hook well before he reaches the ceiling, doing a couple of front flips as he lands. He’s already showing off an awful lot. That’s saying something when it comes to Joker, who constantly does a backflip before going into what the Phantom Thieves call an “All-Out Attack”. Not that I can say anything, considering I’ve taken to doing the same. Turning his head to look at me, Joker has the audacity to wave at me during this fight. Is he even taking this seriously?

One of the Ganeshas rushes recklessly again, likely hoping to catch Joker off-guard. It’s too bad that Joker sees it coming and backflips into the air, sailing high over its head. He cocks his gun mid-flip, firing bullet after bullet into the Shadow’s back. I can feel a murderous intent from the two Shadows. Joker deploys his grappling hook and flies clear out of the way of the other Shadow trying to avenge its injured comrade.

It’s impossible not to laugh at the pathetic Shadows stumbling around, making fools of themselves as they try to land a single hit. Using his trusty grappling hook and acrobatic skills, Joker moves all over the arena, confusing them tremendously. It’s almost a show. The thief flips and spins as he goes like he has to show off at every possible moment. I for one can’t take my eyes off him. His movements flow one into another, captivating the cognitive audience as well. These weaklings are no match for him. So why doesn’t he just finish them off quickly as he should? He’s wasting time.

As if hearing my thoughts, Joker’s hand reaches for his mask. Playtime’s over. He summons the paperlike Persona Shiki-Ouji. “Ravage them!” he yells as a myriad of pink and cyan blobs assault his opponents. The two Shadows collapse under the barrage, one of them being taken out by the attack. The other one struggles to get back up, but it’s no use. This Ganesha is as good as dead. Joker uses his grappling hook to swing around the Shadow, his dagger cleaving right through its neck. He lands right where the Shadow is as it explodes into black dust. Joker stands right in the middle of it, looking cool as ever.

I know that I’m staring right now. I don’t care. He made that fight look simple, and he looked good doing it. “Wow, you’re hot,” I whisper to myself, hoping the announcer’s derisive voice echoing through the room will drown out my musings.

Oracle walks up to me a few seconds later. Thank goodness I- “Mwehehe! I’m gonna tell him.”

“What-” I start to ask, only to realize she had heard me after all, despite my precautions. “No.”

“I’m gonna tell him,” she repeats with a mischievous grin.

“Please don’t tell him.” The last thing I need is for Joker to think I find him attractive. Granted, he _is_ quite attractive, but that’s beside the point.

“He’ll find it cute after you guys were holding hands!”

“What are you talking about?” I can hear my voice pitch higher. There’s only one event she can be referencing, and if she saw that…god, I hate how worried I sound.

“In the House of Darkness!”

She had noticed after all. Joker had sensed my…unease upon first entering the maze and had grabbed my hand to calm me down. That was all it was. It meant nothing, even if he had continued to hold my hand through the entire thing except in the rare instances we had to crawl through the vents. Not that trying to convince Oracle of this will help. “Don’t tell him or else,” I say, trying to sound confident once again.

“You can’t stop me. If you try, I’ll tell everyone you’re so scared of the dark you held Ren’s hand!”

“Are you…blackmailing me?”

She laughs. “Maybe.”

“Damnit,” I hiss.

Seeing no way out of this predicament, I turn my attention back to the fight just as Joker slaughters three Rangdas all at once with a well-timed Makouga from Isis. They certainly didn’t last long. He laughs jovially as he remarks, “Now _that’s_ comedy!” He sounds slightly surprised as if he himself hadn’t expected them to be destroyed so easily.

“Bullshit! Why the hell aren’t you dying, you goddamn Phantom Dweeb!?” the announcer yells, clearly annoyed that Joker simply refuses to lay down and die. Wait, when did the announcer start calling him a ‘Phantom Dweeb’? What even is a dweeb? Never mind; that’s not important. “I have a bet on this too! Grr, there’s no way in hell you’re getting away with this! Time for our final contestant!”

What an inane fool the announcer has to be to think the cocky, rebellious boy that is Joker is going to accept defeat. He’s been defying the odds stacked against him since April, and that isn’t changing now. He’ll keep fighting.

Even if the enemy that materializes in front of him is a hulking humanoid at least three times his size.

“Yowza… That’s a big one,” Oracle says in shock. At least Joker’s final foe takes her focus off of me. Hopefully, she’ll forget my little comment from earlier.

“Go, grind his bones to dust! Let the extreme third battle begin!”

Thor looks down at its foe. “Let’s get this over with,” the Shadow says. To it, Joker must look like a puny opponent. It’ll learn soon enough not to underestimate him.

Joker looks like he’s still chuckling despite his opponent’s size. He takes off his mask, but the Persona he summons isn’t Shiki-Ouji. “Magatsu-Izanagi Picaro!” he calls. Something about this Persona’s appearance feels…familiar, somehow. _Perhaps…?_ “You need proper punishment.”

I raise an eyebrow because, even though he’s looking at Thor, the way he’s positioned makes it seem like he’s directing it at me instead. Does he not understand proper phrasing?

A black and red mandala appears on the floor right under Thor’s feet. The Shadow is surrounded by red symbols swirling faster and faster around it. The symbols are impossible to make out from this distance. Whitish-red streaks of light build up in intensity from all sides before a large beam shoots down on Thor in an explosion of energy. “What a powerful attack,” I remark idly to myself.

In a completely unnecessary move, Joker uses his grappling hook to move in my direction and away from Thor. The Shadow is preparing for an attack. He once again does nothing to stop the Shadow charging head-long at him. I soon see why. Shiki-Ouji suddenly materializes in front of Joker and grabs Thor mid-rush, holding the Shadow back before Joker commands his Persona to use Dormina.

Thor falls asleep almost immediately while standing up. It still amazes me how Shadows can be so dumb as to fall asleep in the middle of a fight. I nearly start as Joker walks right up to me and leans against the glass separating the two of us. “Hi, Akeppi.”

“What are you doing, Joker?” I respond.

“Nothing yet.” He hums in thought. Like the shameless flirt he is, he asks, “Enjoying the show?”

“Perhaps you should save your questions until after the battle is won. You’ll have plenty of time to ask for my opinion later.”

“Fine,” he says, whining a little as he turns around. Just in time too, for Thor is starting to stir from its forced slumber. He casually takes his mask off, resummoning Shiki-Ouji to attack with Mapsi before his opponent fully wakes up. It doesn’t bring Thor down as it did previously with the Ganeshas, but it still must have hurt. Just as it gains lucidity, Joker has Shiki-Ouji use Dormina again. He doesn’t waste time talking to me again. Instead, a bunch of circular pink, yellow, and cyan beams surround Thor before striking all at once and send the Shadow reeling onto the ground. With a cocky grin on his face, he uses Psio again for good measure.

“Yeah, keep smiling, buddy,” Thor growls as it pushes itself to its feet. It swipes its electrified hammer at Joker, who deftly backflips away. However, the electricity shoots forward and hits him head-on.

 _Joker, you fucking idiot._ Sure, other than looking a little disheveled, he’s no worse for wear. He’ll be okay, but he shouldn’t have let such an obvious attack hit him.

Something inside Joker seems to snap. The glare on his face is fiercer than I’ve ever seen from him. He looks utterly enraged…and somehow even hotter at the same time. His Persona disappears, but even with the mask, I can sense the fiery rage in his eyes. Pulling out his gun, he jumps to his right, twirling in mid-air as he shoots a couple of bullets. He somersaults as gravity brings him back to the ground. However, he isn’t done. He leaps straight into the air from his crouched position. It’s almost impossible to perceive what happens, but he seems to combine the twist from earlier with a front flip, followed by another spin in the air as he proceeds to fire bullet after bullet in mid-air while upside down. He uses his feet and left hand to take the brunt of his fall. Thor collapses to its knees shortly after, the continuous gunfire too much for it to handle.

Joker stands up and looks contemplatively at his left hand. Is he seriously thinking of using the grappling hook now? With a shrug, he looks back at Thor and does a running leap into the air. He performs a couple of front flips before his momentum brings him to Thor’s head. With a level of dexterity only Joker could pull off, he straddles Thor from below, his legs wrapped around the Shadow’s neck. His left hand grabs a hold of one of the horns on Thor’s helmet while he points the gun right at Thor’s face. “You’re done!” Joker yells as he shoots at point-blank range.

The Shadow crumbles into black dust, but not before Joker pushes himself off its body, twirling in the air and backflipping so he lands crouched on the ground facing me. He grins as he hops to his feet, pirouetting before he poses, right arm outstretched and left hand resting on his chest.

I blink, startled. I know exactly where that maneuver came from. I’ve done that exact same thing once or twice in those All-Out Attacks. How did he manage to figure out how to copy it so quickly…?

The announcer groans in disappointment, having no comment on the fact that Joker just won their rigged game in style. I can’t help but grin as I give my own snide remark.

“Once again, justice prevails.”


	9. 112. "Quit looking at me with that stupid expression. You're pissing me off."

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 112 (original post date Sept. 5th, 2020): When Goro got a text from Ren saying to come to Leblanc, he obviously makes haste. Surprisingly, the cafe is empty and Ren is up in the attic. Goro doesn't know what he expected, but it certainly wasn't...this-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh boy, this one. I remember this one. It was the spawn of me finally getting the Persona 5 Dancing game and a friend of mine drawing a crossdressing outfit for Goro since he doesn't have one in the game. Those events...were not in that order, but whatever. Either way, this one was a lot of fun to write and I still enjoy it.  
> ...why do I always end up enjoying the ones where Ren is a menace? Eh, I don't have time to think about that. On with the writing!

“I’m going to kill you for this, Ren.”

“Will you really?” Ren, my overly smug boyfriend, asks as cheekily as possible.

I scowl up at him, knowing that I won’t. Even if the situation I find myself in is not one of my choosing.

I had woken up this morning to the sound of my phone’s notification sound at around nine. To my surprise, it was Ren texting me. He’s not the type to wake up early when it’s not a school day. It read: _“Come to Leblanc quick it’s urgent”_.

A little concerned, I replied: _“I am on my way”._ I wondered why it was so imperative that I go to Leblanc. Hopefully, nothing serious happened. I quickly prepared for the day and changed into my typical uniform before leaving my apartment in Kichijoji.

When I arrived about forty minutes later, I was shocked to see the sign was still flipped to “closed”. That was odd. Leblanc was usually open by now. Tentatively, I opened the door and peeked in. Sojiro Sakura was nowhere to be seen, and Ren wasn’t there either. “Ren?” I called out, looking around the empty cafe.

“Up here,” Ren’s voice replied from up in the attic. I climbed the stairs, wondering what he wanted that required me to come here.

Nothing had me prepared for _this_.

Ren was sitting on his bed dressed in what could best be described as a policewoman’s outfit. He went so far as to wear a black wig and pantyhose…and he even had handcuffs hanging from his waist. Where he got any of this, I had no idea, nor was I going to ask. I raised an eyebrow at Ren’s getup. “What the hell is this?”

“What’s what?” he asked, dark red lips twisted in a teasing smirk at my startled expression. Yes, he was wearing lipstick. Of course.

“Your…outfit.”

“Oh, this?” He stood up and walked over to me, slinking an arm around my waist. I instantly noticed he was taller than me. Of course, that was only because of the heels on his knee-high boots. He just had to be taller. “I’m arresting you because you’re criminally gorgeous.”

My face flushed, only made worse as his free hand fiddled absentmindedly with the handcuffs. “Aren’t you worried Sakura-san will be back soon? Does he even know about…this?”

“No. He took Futaba out to Akihabara for the day. They won’t be back until tonight.” He grinned. “It’s just the two of us…anything could happen.”

“What did you want?” I asked while backing away, wanting to change the discussion before I became too flustered by Ren’s incessant flirting. “You said it was, and I quote, ‘urgent’. I hope it wasn’t just to show me this.”

“I need you to do something for me.”

“What is it?”

“It’s important.”

I crossed my arms. “I’m not doing anything unless you tell me what it is.”

“Okay. I need you to crossdress for me.”

“Wh-What!?” I sputtered, flabbergasted. Surely I misheard him, right?

“Akeppi, darling, love of my life, I need you to crossdress for me,” he repeated as he pulled me close to him once again.

“Why would I agree to such an inane suggestion?”

“Cuz you love me.”

“No. I’m not crossdressing. Anything but that.”

He gasped as if seeing a perfect opportunity. “Does that mean you’ll finally admit to being a bottom?”

“Absolutely not,” I growled. “Especially when it’s completely untrue.”

“Mmm…keep telling yourself that. I totally believe you.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Exactly what you think.”

That was it. I had enough of this nonsense, especially when it wasn’t as urgent as Ren made me believe. “I’ll be leaving now.”

“Wait, at least let me explain-”

“No,” I interrupted, trying to push away from him. However, he refused to let go. “Get off!” Of course, he didn’t listen. I squirmed, trying to get free. The struggle itself was a blur, but it ended with us on the floor, Ren straddling me and my arms pinned down by his hands holding my wrists.

Given the current situation, I think my false threat to kill Ren is justified.

I’m not going to kill him, though. I know it. He knows it. Hell, I’m sure just about everyone knows by now. “Ren, please get off of me. If you do, then we can discuss this.”

“You’re lying.”

“What are you talking about?”

“You’ll run as soon as I do.”

“You bastard,” I snap. He’s correct, of course. I would have bolted as soon as my arms were free. He sees right through me and my lies so easily. I hate it. My scowl deepens as he gives that self-satisfied little menace smile of his. “Quit looking at me with that stupid expression. You’re pissing me off.”

“But I’m enjoying seeing you like this. And I think you’re enjoying it, too,” he adds in a low whisper.

“Bullshit. I’m not.”

“You’re wrong,” Ren says in the smuggest tone imaginable. “If you weren’t, wouldn’t you have kept fighting?”

I simply glare up at him, refusing to answer that question. Instead, I say, “Go ahead. Explain. That’s what you wanted, isn’t it?”

“Ryuji lost a bet to Ann, and he asked Yusuke and me to join in. I thought it would be fun.”

“I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again: you have a twisted concept of fun.”

I pay for that comment when he playfully ruffles my hair. He remembers that day as vividly as I do. For a split second, I have the opportunity to try and escape again. It’s at that moment when Ryuji walks in, looking absolutely ridiculous in what is clearly an attempt to imitate Ann. “Speak of the devil,” I hiss, shoving Ren off of me while he’s distracted by Ryuji. “I refuse to have any part in your shenanigans.”

“Wait, you told him!?” Ryuji asks.

Ren nods happily. “Yup!”

“What the hell, man!? Why’d you do that?”

“I wanted Akeppi to join us. I was trying to convince him.”

“For real!?” The grin that crosses Ryuji’s face is nothing short of terrifying. “Sounds good to me.”

“Absolutely not,” I interject, finally pushing myself to my feet. “I will not be joining you three in this escapade.”

“No way, man. If I have to do this, then so do you!”

“I’m not the one who lost a bet. You can forget me being a part of this.”

“Renren, help me out here,” Ryuji says, turning to Ren.

A look passes between them, one full of silent schemes and unspoken commands. I need to move…now. I make a mad dash for the stairs just as the duo lunge at me. Ryuji manages to grab me just as I pass by him, pulling my arms behind my back. I thrash and squirm as erratically as possible, trying to throw Ryuji off. He’s stronger than I give him credit for. All I’m managing to do is tire myself out.

I fight fiercely against Ryuji’s hold for a solid minute, cursing all the while. Ren, meanwhile, just watches in mild amusement. _Fucking traitor_. “Want me to use these?” Ren asks as my struggles start to grow weaker, gesturing to the handcuffs. I don’t miss the mischievous smirk hiding behind that mask of neutrality.

“Dude, no. I got this!” Ryuji replies. His grip tightens as he pulls me back. My endeavors cease. This is getting me nowhere. “Just do your thing.”

Ren immediately grins, knowing it’s his time to shine. All I can do is give him a glare full of malice. He remains unfazed. “Come on, Akeppi. Please?” Ren whispers softly and seductively in my ear.

I avert my gaze as I respond, “No.”

“Please?” He’s still using that damn sexy tone of voice, only now he’s running a hand through my hair. It’s distracting. A deadly combination that is…completely…utterly…distracting-

“Fine, fine,” I say before it becomes any worse. Ren nods, signaling Ryuji to release me. I stalk off to a different corner of the room, looking pointedly at Ren as I add, “But no pictures. Got it?”

“Aww.” Ren pouts, but he’s not going to persuade me that easily.

“I’m gonna wait for Kitakita,” Ryuji says, heading downstairs. “He’s prolly still doin’ his makeup.”

Satisfied that it’s just the two of us, I unbutton and shrug off my jacket, placing it gently on Ren’s bed. I freeze as Ren comes up behind me and loosens my tie. He tosses it unceremoniously next to the jacket, coming around to be in front of me. He starts to undo the top few buttons of my dress shirt only to stop partway through. What is he even planning? With a smirk, he starts to run a hand along the now-exposed skin, sending my nerves haywire. “Wh-What are you doing?”

“Just admiring my prisoner,” he hums, continuing to feel up my body. With a roll of my eyes, I undo the rest of the buttons since clearly he’s no longer helping.

After nearly an hour of Ren getting me dressed, doing my hair, and doing my makeup, the deed is done. I glare at the proffered mirror, snatching it with a lace-gloved hand. There are so many layers in this pastel blue dress that fits surprisingly well, and that’s not even including the gray petticoat peeking out from underneath. Ren had added in hair extensions to make my hair look like twin drills. The hair color matches perfectly. It’s almost unnerving. I give Ren a cold look as I hand the mirror back. “Was the black lipstick truly necessary?”

“Yes. You look absolutely adorable!”

“Shut up,” I snap, looking away from him.

“Aww, look at my little tsundere pancake~”

“Your _what!?”_

“You heard me. You’re my little tsundere pancake.”

I’m about to argue against that, but I hear footsteps coming up the stairs. This time, Ryuji is accompanied by Yusuke. Besides the taller boy’s ninja-inspired outfit, I notice the two of them are holding hands. I’ll have to ask Ren about this later. “I’m sorry I’m late,” Yusuke apologizes. “I got off a stop early to try and save money.”

“Yusuke, just let me give you money,” Ren whines. “You know I have plenty from our time in the Metaverse.”

“You know I could not accept such a generous offer.”

“You complete, utter fool,” I mutter.

Ryuji gives me the evil eye as he yells, “Shuddup, Akechi! You’ve no right to say anything!”

“Excuse me!?”

“Hey. Be nice,” Ren says before we can escalate this argument further.

“Sorry, man,” Ryuji says. I just stew in silence. I’m not wrong. Yusuke should just accept Ren’s offer rather than continue to reject the aid. “Hey, shouldn’t we call Ann?”

“I’ll do it,” Ren replies. He pulls out his phone and walks downstairs, leaving me with his two crossdressing accomplices.

“So, what did Renren get you into?” Ryuji asks with a sick smirk.

“I have no idea, nor do I care,” I snap.

He shrugs before turning to Yusuke. “Kitakita, you know what it is?”

“Ah, yes, the Hime Lolita style! Its elegance suits him quite remarkably.”

“The what style?”

“Hime…it means ‘princess’,” I hiss through gritted teeth.

“Ooh!” Ryuji laughs as he adds, “Detective Prince? More like Detective _Princess!”_

“Shut it, Sakamoto,” I reply, still irritable from earlier.

“Nah, this is fun!”

“Your concept of fun is almost as bad as Ren’s.”

“Hey, at least my boyfriend’s okay with it.”

“Indeed, I am,” Yusuke responds. I guess I don’t have to ask Ren later about the two of them holding hands.

Ren comes back upstairs a few seconds later. “Ann will be here in a few minutes. She doesn’t know about Goro, though.”

“You didn’t tell her?” Yusuke questions.

“No. I wanted it to be a surprise. We should probably go downstairs,” Ren adds, holding out a hand to help me out. I smack his hand away. There is no way I am accepting his help. I push myself to my feet, a little unsteady due to the heels on these stupid shoes. They still don’t make me taller than Ren in his boots, though. Of fucking course.

“Are you both really wearin’ heels?” Ryuji asks skeptically.

I shake my head, looking at Ryuji as I reply, “Remember that this wasn’t my choice.”

“Yeah, yeah, I know.”

We all head downstairs. This time, I do reluctantly accept his help with wobbling over to the stairs. I’m not Ren. I didn’t run around fighting Shadows in the Metaverse in heels. As soon as we reach them, Ren grins and picks me up bridal style, walking downstairs in heels with unnatural ease. For once, I’m not complaining. The less I have to walk in these heels, the better. I do give him an unamused look when he refuses to put me down, but I don’t say a word.

Ann arrives a couple of minutes later. “Hi!” she says in greeting. “Oh my god, that’s great, Ryuji!”

“What about those guys? Kitakita and Renren were more eager about it than me,” Ryuji grumbles.

“I couldn’t believe it when you told me they were doing it, too! You two are looking good as ever, and-” At that point, two and two seem to click in Ann’s brain. The genuine shock on her face is priceless. She stammers, “W-Wait, Akechi? Is that you?”

“Hey,” I sigh.

“Wow, you look amazing! Did Ren help?”

“Help?” I scoff. “He’s the only reason I did this.”

“I can be quite persuasive,” Ren adds, nuzzling me. “Doesn’t he look cute?”

“He does!” Ann agrees.

“I do not,” I shoot back. I scowl, but I’m sure I probably look like a pouting child.

“Adorable,” Ren repeats, beaming.

I sigh in annoyance, crossing my arms as I look pointedly away from them. Despite my outward irritation, I can’t help but feel…happy. Yes, I’m _happy_ that he finds me cute and adorable. His loving remarks hold some power over me, a power that I know Ren won’t abuse. He’s not Shido. Ren actually means each and every compliment he gives. “Ren, give Ann your phone. I’ll let you have one picture.”

The grin on Ren’s face could make even the most despondent of individuals smile. Maybe I could live with this.


	10. 115. "You're the perfect combination of sexy and cute."

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 115 (original post date Sept. 12th, 2020): Ren wants to have fun dressing up with Goro. Hilarity ensues.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter summaries are still hard when you never wrote them before. Ah well. It is what it is.  
> So anyway, the cut outfit dialogue options. When those were revealed and I heard Goro's, specifically when he is wearing the butler outfit, I knew what I had to do. Then this idea was born. I still don't honestly know how I wrote this one. I really don't. Goro being the teasing one is so weird for me that it always throws me off when it happens.

“Hey, let’s have some fun!”

I’m immediately skeptical of Ren’s random suggestion as we’re hanging out in his room. “Fun…?” I ask slowly. Ren’s idea of what is considered “fun” can be vastly different on occasion.

This is one of those times. “Remember when I offered to dress you up again after what happened at the cafe?”

I remember. It’s hard to forget when he constantly mentions it as if he’s _proud_ of that moment. “I was under the impression that you were joking.”

“I wasn’t. Will you let me?”

“I can’t believe I’m saying this. Sure. Let’s see what you have first.”

“Yes!” he says, pumping his fist for his success. “Come on.”

He takes my wrist and leads me to the other side of his room where he keeps…a myriad of items. To be honest, it’s an absolute mess. He pushes aside a couple of tables and a stack of boxes, leaning the ladder against a different shelf. Weaving his way through the clutter, he reaches a clothing rack and starts sifting through the outfits. “You’re almost as bad as Ann,” I comment.

Ren looks at me curiously. “Almost?”

“At least you don’t have a closet completely filled with disregarded clothing items.”

“Oh, she told you about that?”

“Told me? She showed me it a couple of days ago. I’m surprised it stays closed.”

“Yeah.” He turns back to the clothes rack almost as if he’s embarrassed. “It didn’t when I was there.”

“You tried to open the closet.”

“I was curious, okay?”

“She agreed when I said you probably deserved being buried in a heap of clothes.”

That gets a chuckle out of him as he rubs the back of his head. “I’m just happy you two are getting along.”

“She’s…surprisingly accepting of me. It’s a mistake to so easily accept someone li-”

“Hey, how about this?” Ren interrupts before I can continue with my self-deprecation. He’s not being rude. Recently, he’s been trying to distract me from the negative thoughts by drawing my attention to something different. It works sometimes. In his hands is one of his Shujin uniforms. “We could pretend to be high school sweethearts.”

_I don’t think it would look good on me_ , I think but don’t say aloud. Instead, I reply, “We should keep looking.”

Ren pushes through another few outfits before pulling out another. “Maybe this?”

I stare at what looks to be a near-exact replica of his thief outfit. “Where the hell did you get that?”

“I got it custom made.”

“Let’s not do that one. You’ve already seen me in that outfit, anyway,” I add, remembering the day when he had gotten me to wear his jacket in Mementos.

“Fine. Okay, this one,” he says, pulling out what looks like a fancy suit.

“Oh?”

“It’s a butler suit! Do you wanna give it a try?”

I think for a bit before responding. “Hmm…I suppose it wouldn’t hurt.” I take the outfit from a giddy Ren, following him out of the clutter. He looks at me expectantly, waiting for me to start changing. Of course. “Ren, turn around so I can change.”

“Goro, we’ve seen each other naked before.”

“That’s not the point.” I can feel my face getting hot as that day in the bathhouse comes to mind. “I would prefer you waiting to see the final result.”

“Aww, but-”

“No buts. Either you turn around or I’m not doing this at all.”

“Fine,” he says with a slight pout. He reluctantly turns around. Once I’m sure he won’t sneak a peek, I change into the outfit. I wait a few seconds after I’ve changed simply out of spite before asking, “How do I look?”

Ren’s grin widens as he turns around to see me. “You should wear it more often. You’re the perfect combination of sexy and cute.”

“I’m not cute,” I protest, but my sudden blushing isn’t helping.

“Yes, you are!”

I roll my eyes in frustration. He’s always able to get me flustered, but he somehow remains calm despite whatever flirting I throw at him. An idea comes to mind, and for once, I act on it. “You know,” I start, “if you were a woman, I would be calling you a lady.”

Ren looks dubious. “Goro, of the two of u-”

“But in this case,” I interrupt, refusing to let him stop me now, “is it better to say…Master?”

Ren clearly did not anticipate this turn in the conversation. His mouth hangs open a little as he tries to process what I just said. The blush that blooms on his face is such a rare occurrence, and it’s one I commit to memory. I want to indulge in it for as long as I can. With a little smirk, I ask, “Is something wrong, _Master?”_

“U-Um…no. Nothing’s wrong,” he replies after a few seconds of silence.

“Are you sure? You look rather…flustered.”

“Me, flustered? Goro, who do you think I am?”

“Isn’t it obvious? You’re my master.” Teasing him is becoming enjoyable. I have no idea where this is coming from, but I’ll gladly take it if it means I get to see Ren like this. “Did I surprise you? You really do seem to be flustered.”

“I’m not flustered.”

He’s regaining his composure. I have to put a stop to that. “Of course not, Master~,” I ‘agree’ as sweetly as possible, chuckling at the shocked expression that crosses his face. “I should tease you more often. Your blushing is endearing.”

“…Is that so?” He sounds unsure of his words…only for that sly little smirk to make its appearance once again. “I gotta say, I didn’t know you were into this kind of stuff.”

“W-What?”

“I could get used to you calling me ‘master’.”

“Oh great, now you’re enjoying this,” I say as sarcastically as possible. “You are so-”

“Charming? Handsome? Sexy?”

“I was going to say infuriating.” I dare a glance at Ren. He smirks, clearly not believing me. He can believe whatever he wants. “Hey, if you have more fancy attire for yourself, we could go to this buffet I’ve heard about. My treat.”

“Would you be my escort?”

I raise an eyebrow. “Ren, you’re my boyfriend.”

“So?”

“I’m not getting paid to spend time with you, so I wouldn’t be an escort.”

“Yes, you are! You’re getting paid in love,” he says before planting a kiss on my neck, smirking as I instinctively freeze up, “and affection.”

“Only you would say something as foolish as that…well, I’ll be waiting downstairs,” I say once I realize Ren isn’t going to try and create one of his “masterpieces” using my neck as his canvas. Not yet, at least.


	11. 34. "We live together. You can't blame this on anyone else."

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 34 (original post date Dec. 24th, 2020): Spending the holidays with Ren, or anyone for that matter, is a novel concept for Goro. Goro wouldn't have it any other way. He knows, though, that Ren is probably going to try and pull something for the holidays. What it is, Goro doesn't know, but something will happen, that's for sure.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we are now with one of my more recent writings! There was quite a long gap in between the oneshot prompt ones because I had started working on an AU of sorts (that also used the same prompt list), and then Shuake2020 Week happened on Tumblr. At the same time, I hit burnout and didn't write much. I'm honestly still trying to get out of the writer's block but that's a work in progress.  
> Okay, enough about myself here. This one was honestly a joy to write. Christmas is always a fun time with Persona 5, and with mistletoe being a thing...who can blame Ren for being an absolute menace?

Spending the holidays with someone else is not something I am used to. Years and years of being alone will do that to a person. Yet here I am, spending Christmas with my fiance, Ren. I couldn’t ask for a better way to celebrate Christmas.

Even if I can already predict that said fiance will be more of a menace than usual.

It isn’t our first Christmas together, of course, but this is the first time we will be celebrating it as more than boyfriends. It’s also the first time it’ll be just the two of us. Ann has continuously texted me how she was spending the holiday season with Shiho (images included), Yusuke and Ryuji are at the latter’s home, and I think I remember Ren telling me how Haru was planning on taking Makoto somewhere fancy. Even Morgana isn’t going to be home, deciding the idea of being with Sojiro, Futaba, and Sumire is a better way to spend his time. I suspect that Futaba had also bribed him with sushi. Not that I am about to complain about his absence.

I arrive home after some last-minute shopping to find Ren sprawled out on the couch, absentmindedly batting at the white pompom of the Santa hat he’s wearing. He looks up and immediately grins. “Akeppi!” he says, happy as can be.

“Someone’s being quite productive with his time,” I remark sarcastically.

“Hey, I’ve been very busy.”

“Doing what? Acting like the cat of the house since Morgana isn’t around to fill that role?”

“No.” He pauses for a moment to think before a mischievous smirk crosses his face. Standing up to approach me, he continues, “I’ve been checking the naughty and nice list…and you’ve been very naughty.”

He wraps his arms around my waist, his smirk widening as he notices my blush. His head is tilted down and he looks seductively up at me from under his glasses. Damn, he looks beautiful. It takes me a few seconds to finally respond, “Ren, you’re not Santa.”

“Am I not?”

“No, you’re not, and if anyone’s being the naughty one, it’s you.”

“Oh. Guess I better take this off,” he adds. He casually tosses the hat to the side and pulls a sprig of mistletoe seemingly out of thin air.

“Ren, no.”

He holds the mistletoe over our heads, looking quite smug. “Kith kith?”

Of course, he wants a kiss. Of course. “That’s not how it is supposed to work.”

“Come on. Humor me, Akeppi.”

I roll my eyes, but I can’t help but smile. “Fine, but only because you’re-”

Ren doesn’t even give me a chance to finish. He has his invitation and he’s taking it before I can change my mind. Not that I would have, mind you. He finally pulls away after several seconds, although I can tell he doesn’t really want to. I know how he is. Given the opportunity, he would keep kissing me all day. “Can I have another?”

“Not with that piece of mistletoe, you’re not.” He pouts a little as I take the mistletoe away from him. Other than that, he doesn’t seem too bothered by it.

In retrospect, perhaps that should have clued me in that something was up.

Ren follows me as I go to throw away the mistletoe. Just as soon as I do, he says, “Hey, Akeppi.”

“What is it, Ren?”

“Look up.”

My gaze follows the direction of his pointing to see a piece of mistletoe identical to the first one hanging from the ceiling. I sigh, resigning myself to whatever game Ren is playing. “Let me guess. You want another kiss.”

“Yup!”

“Very well. One kiss.”

He immediately pulls me into a much more passionate kiss than before. This time, I’m the one to pull away first. He doesn’t seem to care; in fact, he’s grinning happily at his success.

Satisfied, Ren begins to prepare a cake for later tonight. When I offer to help, he says, “No. We all know what happened last time.”

“It wasn’t that terrible of an incident.”

“You nearly set Leblanc on fire!”

“You’re overexaggerating,” I grumble. “It was a small fire.”

“No it wasn’t, you liar!” he replies, laughing at my expense. I hate that he’s right. We both remember that day all too well. Sojiro, needless to say, was not pleased when he found out. “If you really want to help, can you go get me the flour? At least you can’t cause a fire doing that.”

“Maybe I will just to spite you.”

“Go ahead. It won’t be hotter than the fire that is my love for you.”

“Of course, you would.” He snickers as I turn around to get the flour. I decide that the flour will remain fire-free today. As I turn to give it to him, I notice there’s yet another piece of mistletoe that had definitely not been there a few seconds ago. “You have to be joking.”

He looks up in clearly fake surprise at the mistletoe. “Does that mean I get another kiss?”

“I suppose so.” This kiss is decidedly shorter than the others, almost as if he’s teasing me with it. I refuse to acknowledge the fact that I wish he would have kissed me longer. I will not be the one who asks him for a kiss. No way.

The time passes by rather quickly. Just being in Ren’s presence tends to do that. He finally is done with the prep work and leaves it to finish baking. He then takes my hand in his as he leads me out of the kitchen. However, he suddenly stops and glances up. I don’t even need to look to know what it is. “Ren-”

“Yeah?”

“This is becoming ridiculous.”

“What is?”

“How much mistletoe did you hang around the house?”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about. I did no such thing.”

“Ren, we live together. You can’t blame this on anyone else.”

“Could’ve been Morgana.”

“Morgana hasn’t been here all day, and I know when I left this morning, there was no mistletoe whatsoever. How many are there?”

“Um…a few?”

“A few,” I repeat, my slight annoyance probably showing. I’m starting to get tired of this game. “This is the fourth one so far.”

“You’re wrong. It’s the third.”

“No, it’s four.”

“Three. I was holding the first one.”

“Whatever,” I reply, refusing to admit he’s right. “You just have to be a menace, don’t you?”

Cue immediate menace smile from Ren. “Yes, but I’m your menace.”

“You want a kiss? Fine.” I don’t know where my impulsiveness is coming from, but before I know it, my lips are pressed against his, fingers tangled in his fluffy hair.

The kiss is, for lack of better words, messy. I’m not the one to usually take the initiative nor did I think my actions through. But when I pull back, it’s worth seeing the complete shock on Ren’s blushing face. He didn’t see that coming. “Did you…want to kiss me?”

“No, of course not.”

He smirks, seeing right through my lie. “You did too,” he hums, wrapping his arms around me so that I can’t walk away like I normally would.

“You have no proof.”

“I never said I wanted a kiss this time. You kissed me.”

“So what? It’s clear you wanted a kiss.”

“You never kiss me unless you want to.”

“That’s not the case.”

“Oh? Why’s that?”

“Because I always am wanting to kiss you!” I blurt before I can stop myself. Oh, how the tables have turned. “You did not hear that from me.”

“Did too. You said you want to kiss me all the time.” He leans in closer as he whispers softly in my ear, “I could kiss you again…if you want.”

“I…guess I could allow it.”

“No, no.” His voice lowers into that sexy tone of his as he asks again, “Do you want me to kiss you?”

“…Maybe.”

“Maybe?”

“Alright, yes! I do.”

Pleased with my response, he cups my face in his hands before kissing me. I don’t want the moment to end. Unfortunately, breathing is a necessity for life. “Do you wanna cuddle?” Ren asks.

“Why? Is there more mistletoe I don’t know about yet?”

“There…might be a few more.”

I shake my head, chuckling at the response. Of course, he had more than I’ve seen. That doesn’t matter anymore. I find myself wanting to find the remaining ones, but that can wait. “We can cuddle, yes.”

People say it’s best to spend the holidays with someone you love. Before, I would have laughed at the notion. It would have sounded foolish. But now that I’m here in Ren’s arms, I suddenly see how true it is. There really is no other way I would rather spend Christmas than with my beautiful menace.


	12. 20. "You're so cute when you're half asleep like this..."

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 20 (original post date Jan. 15th, 2021): Goro's been working on a case for hours and hours on end. He clearly needs sleep. However, he's not about to go to sleep when there's work to be done. Morgana can't get Goro to sleep, so he's going to have to get someone else to do it for him...

First, let me preface this by saying I have a tendency to work myself to exhaustion when focusing on a particularly difficult task.

It’s simply how I am. Right now, I find myself working on a particularly stubborn embezzlement case. All I have are a few potential leads, but with no hard evidence, I can’t exactly get a warrant. I have to solve this case now. I’m…likely on my 30th hour without sleep. Or is it 35 now…? It doesn’t matter. I can’t rest now.

I feel something bump against my leg. I look down to see Morgana as he meows, “Akechi, go to sleep.”

“I can’t,” I reply, turning my attention away from him. “I have work.”

“It’s been over 40 hours!” Oh. I guess my estimate was lower than reality. “You need to sleep. Have you even eaten anything recently?”

“I had some curry earlier. I’m fine.”

“That was almost 9 hours ago.”

“Whatever,” I mutter. “I’ll eat something later.”

“No. You’re going to sleep. Now.”

I jolt as the black-and-white feline hops up and sits on my desk, blue eyes judging me. Damn this cat. “Leave me alone, Morgana.”

“Either go to sleep or I’ll make you sleep.”

“I’m not Ren. You can’t make me sleep.” I huff as I grab Morgana and move him off my work.

I groan as he leaps onto my desk yet again. “I mean it, Akechi. Go to sleep!”

“Get off, you stupid cat!” With a little more force than last time, I push Morgana back onto the floor.

“I’m not a cat!” he protests.

“You’re sure acting like one. Now, leave me be.”

He mumbles something that sounds like “you leave me no choice” before I hear the sound of small paws padding on the floor, signifying his departure. Good. I wasted enough time on his presence as it is. I need to focus on my work.

I maybe get ten minutes of peace before I hear something come into the room. Can’t this cat leave me in peace? “Morgana, go away.”

“I’m not Morgana,” someone who is clearly not Morgana but might as well be a cat as well whispers in my ear. I turn my head just as Ren gently holds me from behind. “Hi, Akeppi.”

“Oh, it’s you.”

“What’cha doing?”

“I’m _trying_ to work on a case, but _someone_ is being a goddamn distraction.”

He chuckles at that, giving a cat-like smirk. “I’m distracting?”

“Yes, you are,” I reply with a hint of annoyance. “I need to finish this, so if you could leave, that would be great.”

“Weren’t you working on this earlier?”

“Yes.”

“And you’re still working on it?”

“Yes.”

“Can’t you work on it later?”

“No.”

“I wanna cuddle.”

“Not now, Ren,” I say, finally breaking away from my one-word answers.

“But Akeppi, I’m lonely.”

“If you’re so desperate to cuddle something, go cuddle your blankets or a pillow or whatnot.”

“I already cuddled the blankets last night. It’s not the same as cuddling you.”

“Well, too bad. Go away, Ren. I have work to do.” Ren whimpers softly and, in my tired state, I make the fatal mistake of looking at him. He looks so upset, the hints of a pout visible in his frown. Shit. I’ve never been able to stand against his pout, to begin with, and being as worn out as I am isn’t helping. “Alright, you win! Just stop pouting, Ren.”

The sad expression immediately disappears. “Yay!” He grins, elated that he’s getting his cuddles.

I don’t even get the chance to stand up before he somehow manages to pick me up out of my chair and carry me bridal style to our bedroom. “I could have walked myself,” I grumble.

“I wanted to carry you.” His grin turns mischievous as he sits on the bed, still holding onto me. “And we both know you like this.”

I roll my eyes, annoyed that he would even suggest such an inane idea. I can’t refute it, though. Instead of denying his words, I ask, “Are we going to cuddle or not?”

“If you insist.” Of course, he’s acting like I’m the one who wanted to cuddle in the first place. He lays down, shifting so that we’re in a better position to cuddle. With one arm wrapped around me, he runs his other hand through my hair. I close my eyes, enjoying this moment. “Tired?”

“No-” I start to say, but I’m interrupted by a yawn. I refuse to admit it. “I’m not tired.”

“I dunno. You seem tired.”

“Well, I’m not. As soon as you’re satisfied, I am going to continue my work.”

“No, you aren’t.”

“Wh-”

Ren doesn’t even give me a chance to get out a word before he’s scratching in my hair. Damn, does it feel good… “Morgana told me you haven’t slept for two days.”

Again, damn that cat. He just had to get Ren to help him. “You dirty cheat. Is that…” I pause for a moment, trying to gather my thoughts while Ren is being thoroughly distracting with my hair. “Is that what this about?”

“Not really. I did want to cuddle.” I open my eyes long enough to see Ren looking at me with an adoring smile. “You’re so cute when you’re half asleep like this…”

“I’m not half-asleep,” I immediately retort, but it’s almost as quickly invalidated by another involuntary yawn.

“Yeah, you are.” He continues to play with my hair, chuckling at my attempts to stay awake. “Do I have to sing to get you to sleep?”

“Don’t you dare-”

His smile is nothing short of cheeky as he ignores my threat. “♪ Where have you been? Been searching all along~♪”

The rest is muffled by my hand over his mouth. “Shut up.” Ren blinks, going silent as he contemplates his options. I have no warning as he decides the best way to get my hand away is to lick it. I immediately pull my hand away. “Ren!”

“♪ Came facing twilight on and on, without a clue~♪” he finishes, grinning mischievously. “Do you want me to go on?”

“Goodnight,” I mutter, rolling over to face away from him.

I can feel his chest shudder as he tries not to laugh at my reaction. Pulling me closer to him, he nearly whispers in my ear. “Goodnight, my beautiful detective. I love you~”

“I love you too…” And within a few minutes, I’m fast asleep in Ren’s arms.


	13. 114. "Don't you think you're a little too old to be using cheesy pick up lines?"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 114 (original post date Jan. 22nd, 2021): This here is the story of how Ren got his first actual date with Goro: numerous cheesy pick-up lines and a bet through a card trick.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This whole prompt was based on an idea I had months ago based on a TikTok my friend sent me (saying that it would be Ren) of a card trick where the person said if they guessed the card right, the other person would go on a date with them. Of course, I thought Ren would do this, and only recently did I finally have the inspiration and motivation to actually write it.  
> For the record, there are 10 of these pick-up lines, to be exact. I spent one very late night back in August looking up cheesy pick-up lines for Ren to use and had a list of like 20-30 possible ones. Clearly, I did not have Ren use all of them, but still.

One of the highlights of my daily routine is going to Leblanc for a delicious cup of coffee. The atmosphere of the cafe is extremely relaxing after a long day at work. It’s warm and inviting, especially on a cold winter day like this. However, if I’m being honest with myself, my main reason for coming is for the company of a certain someone.

I walk into the cafe, the little bell ringing to announce my arrival. I’m surprised to see Sojiro isn’t present. Not that I’m complaining. The person I came to see is the black-haired boy who’s currently running the cafe. “Oh? Did Boss leave you in charge?”

He looks up from the coffee he finished preparing. To my surprise, he isn’t enthusiastic about my visit; he actually looks puzzled. He walks over to me, tilting his head in confusion. “I forgot your name. Can I call you ‘mine’?”

I give him a withering glare. “Ren Amamiya, you already know my name.”

“Do I?” Ren’s perplexed charade falters for a split second as his lips quirk upward a little. At my unamused silence, he adds, “Okay, Akeppi, but can I still call you ‘mine’?”

“Why would I let you do that? We’re not-”

“Shh…” He silences me with a finger pressed against my lips. His other hand tilts my chin up so that I’m looking him in the eye as he whispers, “You’re mine.”

I roll my eyes, pushing his hands away. “Your persistence isn’t going to work.” Even if the only thing on my mind now is how sexy his voice sounds when he whispers like that.

“I think it will.” He smirks as if he knows what I’m thinking. “So, how are you?”

“Fine.”

“I asked how you were, not how you looked.”

“You’re really laying it thick with the flirting.”

“Thick like-”

“Don’t even say it,” I snap before he can finish that sentence.

He tries his best to look innocent as he responds, “You don’t even know what I was going to say.”

“Well, it’s likely not something that should be said in public. Could I just have a cup of coffee without you being a menace?”

“Okay.” Ren walks away to make the coffee. He doesn’t need to ask how I’d like it; he already knows my preference. “You know, if you were coffee grounds, you’d be espresso, cause you’re so fine.”

This boy, I swear. “What did I _just_ say?”

He ignores my question, continuing on his shameless flirting spree. “Is it hot in here, or is it just you?”

“You need to stop yourself.”

“You can’t stop the menace.”

A cheeky, lopsided smile creeps on his face, the expression being the one we have coined the “menace smile”. Of course, he would give that smile. I run my hands through my hair, frustrated with his bullshit. “Why do I keep you in my life?”

“Because you love me.” I’m tempted to respond that he has no proof, but then he would proceed to list a long series of events just to prove me wrong. So I choose to stay silent as he comes back, placing the cup of coffee in front of me. “If I were a cat, I’d spend all nine of my lives with you.”

“Ren, just because you sleep for long periods of time and for some inexplicable reason refuse to die does not make you a cat.”

“Nya~” He adds further to the cat impression by positioning his hand to look like a cat’s paw. “Hi, I’m Ren A-nya-miya. It’s nice to mee-ow-t you.”

“You are so insufferable.”

“You love me~”

“Could you be any more annoying?”

“Easily.” He cups my face in his hands, grinning. “If I told you you had a gorgeous body, would you hold it against me?”

“Ren, this is becoming ridiculous.”

“But do you know what you would look really beautiful in? My arms.”

“Ren.”

“Yeah?”

“Don’t you think you’re a little too old to be using cheesy pick-up lines?”

There’s that menace smile again. “No,” he hums, his voice lilting as he makes his loving affection clear. “Oh! Do you like raisins? How do you feel about a date?”

I nearly spit out my coffee, face flushed at his suggestion. Why would he even say something like that? I drink the rest of my coffee, composing myself before bitterly responding, “Not with you.”

He isn’t put off by my apparent rejection. I would’ve been shocked if he gave up so easily. Ren can be as stubborn as I am at times. “Sure about that? Let’s commit the perfect crime: I’ll steal your heart and you’ll steal mine.”

“It’s not happening, Ren. Give it up.”

“Okay, how about we bet on it?” He pulls out a deck of cards from who knows where. “If I can find your card, we go on a date. Deal?”

“What do I get out of this when I win?”

“Anything you want. I’ll even let you wait to decide, but you’re not going to win.”

I can hear the challenge in his voice. It’s as if he’s egging me on. Well, he should know by now that I am not one to back down from any challenge he throws at me. “Very well. We have a deal.” I have a few ideas in mind of what I could demand when he loses, but there’s no point in thinking about it just yet.

His grin becomes an impish smirk as he holds the deck out to me, the individual cards spread out in his hands. He won’t be smug for much longer. “Take whatever card you want. Look at it and put it back without showing me.” 

“Why the hell would I show it to you?”

“Maybe because you want that date after all?” he asks with a sly smile as if suggesting I would simply let him win.

“Not a chance.” I wait for him to close his eyes before I grab a random card from the deck. It’s the three of spades. I put it back into the deck, making sure to put it in a different place and impossible to tell from the surrounding cards. “Done. You’re not going to find it.”

“You’re wrong.” He opens his eyes, shuffling the deck with nimble fingers befitting a phantom thief. “I’m going to find it, you’ll see,” he adds as he starts looking through the cards, presumably to find my card.

“No, you won’t.”

“Got it,” he replies as he grabs one of the cards. He sets the deck down on the table, grinning as he holds his card in front of my eyes. “This is your card.”

I laugh as I see that it is, in fact, not my card. It’s the queen of clubs. “No, it-”

“Just kidding.” He moves the card away from my face, revealing that he somehow got a card in between his teeth…the three of spades. I can only stare, dumbfounded. When did he get a card from the deck into his mouth, and my card no less? “So…about that date~”

“Damnit,” I snap, pissed that he actually succeeded.

“You agreed to it,” Ren casually reminds me, the smug little shit that he is.

“Unfortunately.” I cannot believe he bested me so easily. It annoys me so much. “Alright, when is this date going to be?”

“Are you free now? I think Sojiro will be back soon.”

“I suppose today will work,” I sigh, trying to mask that, despite my irritation over losing to him, I am legitimately looking forward to this date.

He grins, clearly overjoyed that I agreed so easily to have the date tonight. His grin turns mischievous as he asks, “Are you mine now?”

“Don’t get ahead of yourself,” I reprimand.

“Aww, okay.” He looks at the door as if looking for Sojiro. When he doesn’t immediately show up, Ren turns his attention back to me. “Your lips look so lonely. Would they want to meet mine?”

I groan, facepalming at his antics while shaking my head. “I was hoping you were done with the stupid pick-up lines.”

“No,” he replies, coming around the counter to stand behind me, his arms wrapped around the chair and my waist. He rests his head against my shoulder as his tone lowers. “Would your lips want to meet mine?”

“Sorry, but I’ll pass on the invitation.”

“I think you’re saying that because you’re not a good kisser.”

I turn my head just enough to side-eye Ren. “Excuse me?”

“You’re probably not that good of a kisser.”

“That’s not true.”

“I bet I’m a better kisser than you.”

I stare at him in silence for a few moments. “I know what you’re doing, Ren.”

“Is it working?”

He’s challenging me, I know it. My competitiveness is constant in this rivalry of ours. Despite that, I refuse to admit that, yes, it is working a little too well. I want nothing more than to prove him wrong. I put up an air of indifference as I respond, “Perhaps when our date is over, I will prove to you that I’m just as good a kisser as you.”

He laughs, pulling away as Sojiro walks through the door. “I’m going to hold you to that…Goro~”

Wait. Did he just…did he just call me Goro? And…in that tone, no less? I stare in silence as he opens the door, winking as he leaves. “What-wait, hold on!” I rush to follow after Ren, not caring what Sojiro thinks of our sudden departure. I have a date to go on.


	14. 99. "Do it. I dare you."

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 99 (original post date Jan. 28th, 2021): This was meant to be just a normal trip into Mementos. And it did start out that way. But during a run-in with a Shadow that wants to put up a fight, some unexpected complications lead to having to deal with a brainwashed and crazy Joker. Crow decides to take matters into his own hands.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we are in the present day with my writing. No more backlogging!  
> This idea, like the last one, was one that was months in the making, maybe even longer than the other one. I had tried to work on it numerous times with no success before I got something written. This one hurt me to write because writing Joker so vulnerable hurts my soul.  
> Okay, I am going to use this as a chance to say that this specific prompt does get very dark and angsty, up to including the potential of character death (no one dies though, I promise). This, as of right now, is the darkest one I've written, though it's no longer the most angst-filled one, in my opinion. No, that's for the next one.  
> Now, on with the show!

“Let’s go,” Joker’s voice rings out, echoing against the walls of the Mementos station.

Mona jumps onto the tracks, transforming into his car form in midair. The rest of the thieves sans Joker starts to get in. Not everyone had been able to come today. Haru had business involving Big Bang Burger that she had to attend to, leaving it down to the nine of us to finish our Mementos requests. She had apologized profusely in the group chat, but the others reassured her that everything was alright.

I go to get in the back of the vehicle but am stopped by a hand grabbing my arm. I give Joker an unamused look as I ask, “What do you want?”

“You know where you sit,” he replies with a cocky grin to match. I sigh in frustration as I get in the front row after Joker. Every single time, he always wants me to sit right next to him. He refuses to take no for an answer on that. No matter how much outward annoyance I show, I secretly am content with this seating arrangement. I’m fairly certain that he is aware of this as well. It’s even more apparent today since, with Noir not here today, Violet ends up deciding to sit with Panther and Queen in the middle row. Joker echoes my thoughts as he remarks, “Hey, look at that. It’s just the two of us. Anything can happen~”

“Joker, if you try anything, you’re going to lose a limb or two.”

“Sounds fun,” he hums, laughing as I sulk and look away from him. I can’t even threaten him without his goddamn danger kink making its existence known.

“God, get a room, you two!” Oracle yells from the back.

Joker laughs even harder at this. “I might do just that.”

“No,” I say, refusing to entertain this idea any further.

“But Akeppi-”

“I said no.”

He looks disheartened for a brief moment before he smirks. I don’t know what I was expecting, but it certainly wasn’t Joker starting to sing, “♪ I want your love, and I want your revenge. You and me could write a bad romance~♪”

I whirl around as I hear Panther join in with, “♪ Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh!♪”

Joker apparently has no intentions of stopping. “♪ I want your love, and all your lover’s revenge. You and me could write a bad romance~♪”

At that point, Oracle decides it’s her turn, “♪ Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh! Caught in a bad romance!♪”

“Would you three shut up already?” I yell, turning so I can glare at all of them at once.

It’s quiet for all of one second before Oracle and Joker both, of course, decide to ignore me like the menaces they are, simultaneously singing, “♪ Ra-ra-ah-ah-ah! Roma-roma-ma! Gaga, ‘Ooh la-la’! Want your bad romance~♪”

I groan at their antics. It’s the one annoyance that comes from sitting next to Joker. It’s not the first time something like this has happened. The chances of it being the last are minuscule at best.

The banter between the rest of the thieves continues as we continue to drive through Mementos. At some point, Joker took one of his hands off the steering wheel so that he could hold me close. He still has his arm around me when we run right into a Shadow that decides not to immediately disintegrate upon impact.

“Get ready, everyone!” Mona says in car form. “This one wants a fight.”

“Oh, hell yeah!” Skull shouts. “We’re gonna kick its ass!”

We quickly exit the vehicle while the Shadow is still stunned from being hit head-on by a cat-turned-vehicle. Almost as soon as Mona transforms back into a cat, the Shadow bursts into a black liquid, revealing itself as a Forneus.

I had been hoping for this fight to be done quickly, but this Shadow is decidedly stubborn. We’ve managed to knock it down a couple of times, but it simply refuses to die. After the third such time, it fires a Mapsiodyne that manages to hit all of us. “Queen!” Fox calls out as she collapses.

No communication is needed. Joker and I pull back to tend to her while the rest keep fighting. I bend down so that I can drag her out of harm’s way. However, I pause, sensing Joker’s eyes on me. Not this again. “Joker,” I start, moving Queen as I speak, “maybe you should be a little more concerned about Queen lying unconscious on the floor rather than staring at my ass.”

“Oh. Yeah. Right.”

He quickly summons Sandalphon to revive her. Queen’s eyes flutter open, surprisingly unalarmed that she had been knocked out. It’s such a common occurrence with this group. How they’ve survived for so long, I have no idea. “She’s awake,” I say, turning back to Joker. “We should get back to the fight.”

He nods. “Let’s go-”

“Joker, look out!” Panther calls out just as he is engulfed in a magenta aura.

He tries to move out of the way, but it’s too late. There’s nothing any of us can do without Noir and her Persona’s Amrita Shower. The aura clears. Joker stands there, his eyes closed. “Joker?” Queen asks from behind me, having gotten herself to her feet.

A sinister grin creeps across his face as he opens his eyes, his attention focused on the two of us. His eyes glow with an unnatural purple light as he rushes at us. “It’s not him!” I yell, blocking his dagger with my sword. His grin only widens, a frenzied look in his eyes. “He’s been brainwashed by that damn Shadow!”

“We gotta do something!” Mona calls out from the frontlines, where he’s working with Skull and Fox to keep the Shadow occupied. “He’ll keep attacking us if we do nothing!”

In an instant, I make my decision. “Keep attacking it, all of you. Oracle, make sure they don’t die doing it.”

“It’ll be easy peasy!” Oracle replies from above in Al Azif.

“I’ll keep Joker occupied while you do that until he snaps out of this brainwashing.” 

“Got it,” Panther responds, her Persona pelting the Shadow with fiery strikes as Makoto charges forward on Agnes.

With Joker’s next strike, I grab ahold of his wrist, fully intending on pulling him away from the fight. However, I’m distracted by Violet tentatively asking, “Is senpai gonna be okay?”

“Damnit,” I hiss as Joker escapes my grasp, his dagger slicing my wrist. “Quit your worrying. He’ll be fine.”

Ignoring Violet, for the time being, I regain a hold of Joker and manage to get the bloody dagger out of his hand. I drag him away, leaving the others to take care of that pesky Shadow. The moment we’re out of its vision, I turn to Joker, sheathing my sword for now. “Pull yourself together, idiot!” I snap, resisting the urge to slap him across the face. “We’re your friends.”

“Friends?” he asks, the first words he’s said in his current state.

“Yes, friends. You have those, remember?”

“No. You’re my enemy!”

He throws himself at me with little regard to the fact that he’s currently unarmed and I have a sword at my side. I struggle against him, trying not to hurt him. My sword stays sheathed. I can’t bring myself to cause him harm, even when he has me backed against the wall. “Joker, listen to yourself! I know you’re still there. You’re brainwashed. The Phantom Thieves are your friends. Don’t you understand? They’re not the enemy.”

“You’re right…it’s just you.” Nothing could have prepared me for what comes next. In one swift motion, he pulls out his pistol, pointing it at my face. His grin becomes wicked and full of malice as he sees my eyes widen in shock. “How does it feel, traitor? Knowing you’re about to die.”

“You won’t shoot me. You can’t.”

Despite how confident I try to sound, my heart pounds in my chest. Chills run down my spine. It takes a considerable amount of effort to hide any possible sign of trembling. I refuse to show any vulnerability to him. I don’t care that he could kill me. Even brainwashed, there’s no way he’s capable of shooting me. This isn’t him. Joker would never do this…would he? “Are you afraid?” he mocks. “Are you going to beg for me to spare your life?”

I look Joker dead in the eye…and _laugh_.

I am aware of the situation I am in, that Joker has a gun pointed at my head and could shoot me dead at any moment. At the same time, the irony doesn’t elude me. The tables have turned, and now it’s me on the receiving end of the gun. “Do you really think I would stoop so low? I know you’re brainwashed, but I think you’re bluffing.”

“Someone’s eager to die. What was it you said? ‘Case closed. This is where your justice ends.’ But it’s not my justice ending, detective: it’s yours.”

“Then, by all means, pull the trigger. Do it. I dare you.” When he doesn’t immediately react, I add, “Here. How about I make it easier for you?” With slow, deliberate movements, I remove my mask with one hand and push my bangs aside with the other as I tilt my head forward. He has a clear shot now, the cold metal of the barrel pressed against my forehead. Yes, this is reckless. I know that…but he deserves this chance. An opportunity to enact swift judgment on me for my crimes. I’m not worthy of a quick death like this, even with it mirroring my actions in the interrogation room. It doesn’t matter, though. If this is how it ends, then so be it. I couldn’t ask for a better executioner.

I stand there, eyes closed, waiting for death to take me. But the gunshot never comes. I open my eyes, staring past the pistol to the boy currently holding me at gunpoint. His grin isn’t quite as wide as before. He’s faltering. “What’s the matter, Joker? I didn’t hesitate when the situation was reversed. Go ahead,” I say as I close my eyes once again, my voice slowly rising in volume as I continue to berate him, “put a bullet through my skull. It’s only fair, isn’t it? I’ve murdered countless people. I even tried to kill you twice. I don’t deserve to be alive, so get on with it and fucking shoot me already!”

All I hear is a gasp, the gun clattering against the ground. I look up to see Joker, no longer brainwashed. It’s clear that he’s shaken. His lips are parted as he stares at me in wide-eyed horror. “A-Akeppi?” he hesitantly says, voice trembling. His mask isn’t able to completely hide the tears threatening to spill. He’s trying so desperately to pull himself together, but for once, it’s not working. I’ve never seen him so visibly distressed, and it _hurts._

“You were brainwashed.” It’s the only thing I can offer as reassurance that I don’t blame him, that it wasn’t his fault.

“You’re…not hurt, are you?”

Figures, he’d ask that question. As always, he’s more concerned about my own well being than his own. “No, of course not,” I lie, hiding the blood on my wrist.

He isn’t fooled. He sees right through my response, as observant as ever. His touch is gentle as he moves my arm into his line of sight. The corners of his lips twitch when he sees the cut. “You are. I didn’t hurt you anywhere else, did I? Tell me the truth.”

“You didn’t.”

We stand there in silence, neither one of us sure how to proceed. I personally want to ignore it and move on, but I can sense that Joker won’t. His inner guilt is eating at him, I can tell. Meanwhile, something tells me he knows I’m hiding something from him. I just don’t want him to know that I had believed he was capable of killing me, even for a second. It’d be too much for him, I’m sure.  
Joker’s the one to break the silence. “Akeppi, I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine,” I instantly respond.

He shakes his head. “No, it’s not. I could have killed you.”

“You didn’t kill me, tho-”

“But I could have,” he interjects before starting to ramble. “I could have killed you. I had my hand on the trigger, and you were willing to just die. What if I had actually shot you…and you had died? Akeppi, I don’t want to lose you again.”

“I’m still here. You wouldn’t have fired the gun.”

“But what if-”

He abruptly goes silent, likely shocked that I’ve pulled him into my embrace, dropping my mask in the process. “Ren, trust me,” I say in a slow, hushed tone, dropping the codenames for now so I can get through to him. “It’s okay. I’m here for you, and I will continue to love you as much as before. Nothing will change that.”

“Goro…” His voice hitches as he returns the hug, desperately holding onto me as if he’s afraid I’ll disappear if he doesn’t. I can hear his ragged breathing as he finally breaks down and cries. Taking cues from what he would do if the situation were reversed, I pull off one of my gauntlets and gently stroke his hair with my ungloved hand. My own tears run down my face, but I refuse to acknowledge them. I have to be strong, for Ren’s sake. He’s always been that way for me, and it’s about time I return the favor.

A few minutes pass before he starts to calm down. As he pulls back to look at me, I move his mask up so I can wipe the remaining tears from his face. “Even crying, you’re still beautiful,” I muse to myself, not meaning to say the words aloud.

“Shouldn’t I be the one saying that?” he asks with a little chuckle. “You look like you were crying, too.”

I shake my head, refusing to confirm or deny his statement. His chuckling continues as he replicates my actions, although his hand lingers on my cheek longer than I had. I turn my head as I hear Skull’s voice. They must have brought down the Shadow without us. I reach down, grabbing my mask from behind Joker and putting my glove back on my hand. “We’ll keep this between us, alright?”

“Okay.” He moves his own mask back into its proper position. Even up close, it’s hard to see that he had just finished crying. “Hey, Akeppi?”

“Yes?”

“Can we cuddle when we get back home?”

The request is not exactly unexpected. We both know he loves to cuddle and that it helps improve his mood. He already should know my answer. After all, how could I refuse him after what happened? “Of course. Come on. Let’s meet up with the others.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PS. Sorry that Haru didn't get any screentime despite this including all the other Phantom Thieves. She'll get her chance, though, I promise!


	15. 63. "Is this how little you think of me?"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 63 (posted Feb. 2nd, 2021): The plan is simple: give the calling card by tonight and steal the treasure tomorrow. It shouldn't have any difficulties. But now, one has been thrown in, a complication that's much more unexpected and personal.  
> Ren, for the first time during the third-semester, is hesitating. Goro realizes why and knows that he has to talk to Ren before the worst happens.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If I thought the last prompt hurt, then this one utterly destroyed my very being.  
> I had no plans at first for writing anything for this day. I thought "I already have something based around the end of P5R I don't need another". And then my brain went "but what if we wrote about it again?" and it was over from there. Obviously, spoilers for Persona 5 Royal are below.  
> I'm just gonna go now and let you read-

“I will carve my own path for myself.”

Why do I have to be telling Ren this? Well, when I had decided to come to Leblanc the evening before our deadline, I had expected a calm evening with Ren going over the plan for tomorrow, probably with some coffee. Or maybe we’d go somewhere else. The jazz club comes to mind, or even Penguin Sniper for darts or billiards.

What I hadn’t anticipated was for Ren to be in the middle of a conversation with our target upon my arrival.

I had to speak with Ren immediately before he did something foolish. Sure, the calling card had been given and the plan’s in motion, but I can still see the hesitance in his face. All this time, he had been as steadfast as the rest of us in breaking free from this fake mirage. He had been the one person who had seemed unaffected and knew something was amiss.

Until now, that is.

To hear Maruki confirm my suspicions, that I could be dead in the real world and that Ren’s wish is to “have a fresh start” with me...it’s exasperating. This is nothing more than a setback. Can’t Ren see that this is a trap meant to coerce him to Maruki’s side?

When Ren doesn’t say anything to my words, I continue to assert my position on the matter. “I refuse to accept a reality concocted by someone else, stuck under their control for the rest of my days.”

Ren finally speaks up, sounding distraught as he says, “But then, you’ll...”

Die. I know. It’s better than the alternative: living a life without agency. “So what? That’s the path I chose.” It’s simple. I would rather be dead than controlled again. Once was enough. “All you have to do is stick to your guns and challenge Maruki. Or are you really so spineless that you’d fold over some bullshit, trivial threat on my life?”

He looks stunned that I’d talk so callously about my own life as if it doesn’t matter. Frankly, it _doesn’t_ matter. If I can’t live my life the way I want, then it’s simply not worth living. “Trivi-Goro, this isn’t small potatoes!”

“It _is!”_ I snap, looking away from him. My life is insignificant in the grand scheme of things. It would probably be better if I wasn’t around. I’ve caused enough misery to everyone who was unfortunate enough to meet me in these eighteen years, yet here’s Ren being decidedly stubborn about it. He’s the only reason I’m still alive, even though my disappearance from this reality would be better for everyone else. I clearly don’t deserve this blissful happiness, but Ren thinks otherwise. And it’s _infuriating_. “Do you really think I’d be happy with this? Being shown mercy now, of all times? I don’t want to be pitied.”

“I’m not-”

“This isn’t something I’m debating with you!”

“Goro...?” Ren hesitantly asks as I shift my gaze to the ground. “Please-”

“Your indecisiveness on the matter is essentially a betrayal of my wishes.”

“I...I’m not...”

I look back up at Ren as he trails off, unable to answer. I’m going to have to press him for one, it seems. If he won’t give me an answer by himself, then I’ll just have to pry it from him. “I want to hear you say it aloud. What do you intend to do?”

After a few seconds of agonizing silence, he finally responds, “I don’t know.”

“What do you mean, you don’t know?”

“I don’t know what I should do.”

I scoff. “You really are that spineless, aren’t you?”

“No!” The only reason I don’t interrupt him is that he looks completely vulnerable right now. “It’s just...Maruki was right. When I thought you had died in... _his_ Palace, I...wasn’t okay. After we stole the treasure, I just wanted to sleep. Everything hurt. I couldn’t stop when we had to defeat Yaldabaoth, but...I _wanted_ to stop. I had to force myself to keep moving. And now that I have you back...I can’t bear the thought of losing you again.”

This is not good if Ren is admitting all of this to me. He’s not the type to tell others about his problems as he doesn’t want to burden his friends. I know how that is, being the same way myself around everyone except him. It’s the only reason I know that about him; it’s yet another similarity between us. The fact that he is sharing this information now...worries me. It means he might be seriously considering Maruki’s offer. I refuse to be the reason Ren falters, after everything we’ve done. We’ve come so far that folding now over something as worthless as my own life would be inane. “Is this how little you think of me? If you truly cared, you wouldn’t even consider accepting Maruki’s offer.”

“I do care!”

“Then why the hesitation? How can you possibly be so indecisive when the answer should be so blatantly obvious?”

“I love you.” Well, that unexpected confession stuns me into silence. Part of me is wondering why he would ever love someone like me, someone who is undeserving of anyone’s love, let alone his. At the same time, I’m hopeful that it’s true. Wait, no. This isn’t the time nor the place for these thoughts. All this could ever be is detrimental, a temptation that I’m afraid Ren can’t resist. “You’re not like the others. Everyone else just sees what they want to see. I can’t be myself around them, so I just wear a mask and show them what they believe I am. You’re the only one who understands me and accepts me for who I really am.”

“Ren, you’re in love with a fake version of me living in some sweet fairytale kingdom full of false happiness.”

“That’s not true,” he immediately refutes. “I love you for _you_ , Goro, flaws and all. I don’t want to give up on you, but if I go back to reality, I...I can’t let you go.”

I jolt as he tightly embraces me as if he’ll lose me as soon as he lets go. He can’t be doing this. It’s only going to make my possible death much more painful. I shove him off of me. “Don’t you get it, Ren? You can’t save me.”

“At least let me try. Maruki’s not evil. He just wants to make everyone happy. Is that really so bad?”

“What the hell’s gotten into you!? He’s the same as Shido!” I snarl. It takes immense mental restraint to stop myself from lashing out at Ren. “His intentions may seem ‘pure’ to you, but a gilded cage is still a prison. He wants to take control of the world and everyone’s lives. And I _don’t_ want to be controlled again.”

“I...”

I’ve had enough of his indecisiveness. He has to make a choice _now_ before he becomes too bogged down by the “what ifs” to decide. “What do you intend to do?” I ask him again. “I won’t wait a moment longer. Answer me.”

“I’m...I’m sorry. We’re taking his offer.”

I stare at him in disbelief, not believing what I’m hearing. Sure, I knew it was possible that he would take Maruki’s offer after what we have learned tonight, but I had been denying that he would be so foolishly sentimental. “Are you serious?”

“I am.”

I search his expression, shocked to find that he’s...he’s actually being serious. He fully intends to accept Maruki’s reality as the truth. And it doesn’t seem like he’ll change his mind. He’s...going against my wishes. I’ve dealt with backstabbing and insincere people in the past, but this? Being betrayed by the one person I’ve come to trust...it hurts. It hurts so much. I’d rather Ren just stab me in the heart with a rusty, serrated knife and let me bleed out. I sigh, not even bothering to keep up false pretenses regarding my feelings. “...Well, I have your answer.”

“Goro-”

I slap Ren’s reaching hand away, turning my back to him so that he doesn’t see the tears starting to form of their own volition. It pisses me off that I can’t even fight against him. His friends don’t have the backbone to refuse him if Morgana’s earlier comment of leaving the decision to Ren is any indication. And, despite my own strength, I know I’m not capable of bringing down Maruki on my own. The only thing I can do now is to accept Ren’s decision. I want him to be happy, I do. Even so, I’m furious with him and his choice. At this moment, I don’t want to see his face ever again. Not that it’ll matter. Starting tomorrow, I won’t have a choice. I’ll be nothing more than a puppet, stuck under another’s whims with no chance to escape. “There’s nothing left I can say. Our deal’s off.”

I stop with my hand on the door. I expect Ren to try and say something, attempting to convince me he’s doing what he thinks is best. Instead, there’s only silence. I turn my head to stare him down. His steadfast, stubborn determination is what pushes me over the edge. If he’s going to hurt me like this, then I have no regrets about driving my own metaphorical knife through his treacherous heart. I won’t get another chance to be myself, so I might as well make the most of it. “I hope you’re happy, Ren. Happy you’re living a lie that you know is wrong. I want you to remember that you’re forcing me into a situation that I don’t desire. I’ve explicitly told you that I refuse to be controlled by another, and what do you do? You stab me in the back with your betrayal because you say you love me. You may call it love, but you don’t love me at all, do you?”

I don’t give him a chance to respond, to deny my accusation and claim that he loves me with all his heart. I’m already out the door, tears streaming down my face as I try to get as far away from Yongen-Jaya as I can. I ignore the door slamming open, Ren desperately calling out to me as he tries to follow. He isn’t able to keep up, and I manage to lose him in the night crowd. There’s no destination in mind. I just want away from here, away from him for whatever length of time I have left before I’m no longer me.

Leaving Leblanc, and Ren, tonight...is the last action I will ever take with my own free will.


	16. 120. “How ‘bout you stick it up your ass instead?”

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 120 (posted Feb. 7th, 2021): Just a normal day in Mementos. Shenanigans quickly ensue in the Mona van with Ren being...well, Ren. And then Goro decides the best way to stop Ren's antics is to say he wants knife shoes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, here we go an AO3-exclusive chapter. I would normally post it on Tumblr, but I'm just not sure if it would be allowed there. It's probably just me being paranoid and overly cautious, but it is what it is.  
> So this oneshot. It basically spawned from a conversation with my friend where somehow the idea of ice skates being called "knife shoes" came up and I remarked how I wanted literal knife shoes. They refused to let me have them. Hushed arguing ensued in voice chat and the idea of that argument being Goro and Ren, respectively, happened. And then it expanded beyond that original idea and even went through a prompt change when the idea itself started to change. Needless to say, this thing went through much more than it really needed to. I'll shut up now so that it can go on to the prompt itself.

Today is yet another normal escapade into Mementos. We’ve just finished up the last of our requests and everyone unanimously decides that we should spend some time driving around Mementos taking out Shadows. Joker and I are sitting in the front row as usual, although Joker’s not at the wheel this time. After an incident earlier today, where Joker decided he was going to, and I quote, “bust his moves”, Queen had revoked his driving privileges for the day. He had tried to retake the driver’s spot, but she wasn’t having it. Seeing Joker acting like a petulant child next to her as she sits in front of the wheel is a sight to behold. I laugh as I climb in next to Joker, saying, “Frankly, you deserve it for trying to be a showoff.”

“I hate to agree with him, but Crow has a point,” Queen rebukes. “You need to be more careful.”

“Come on, it wasn’t _that_ bad,” Joker replies.

“Dude, you nearly drove us into a wall!” Skull yells.

“At least Queen won’t ruin my handsome face,” Mona adds, his voice echoing in the car. “That was not cool, Joker.”

“I thought it was fun,” Noir pipes up. I’m not sure whether her statement is genuine or she’s just trying to assuage Joker’s moodiness. Perhaps it’s both.

“Pedal to the metal!” Oracle exclaims. I have no doubts that she enjoyed Joker nearly crashing the Mona van.

“See? Noir and Oracle agree with me,” Joker says as if it’s a justification for his earlier actions.

“I don’t think anyone else is siding with you,” Panther says, turning to Fox and Violet. “Right?”

Violet looks almost apologetic as she only says, “Sorry, senpai.”

“It was quite an exquisite moment,” Fox muses. “If only I could have captured the scene on canvas!”

“I’ll take that as a point for me,” Joker says.

“No, that’s not a point for you,” I reply. “That response was neither in your favor or against you. Even if it was, it’s 3 against 6. You’re outnumbered.”

“Fine,” he whines, pouting a little.

I wait for the typical banter among the others to start up before asking, “Are you just mad I wasn’t on your side?”

“I thought you loved me.”

“Quit being so overdramatic.”

“But I’m always overdramatic.”

“That you are.” Figuring that we won’t be fighting for a while, I take off my mask and helmet so I can be more comfortable. “You’re just lucky nobody got hurt from your shenanigans.”

“Do you really have that little faith in me?” he asks, feigning distress.

“In you? No. In your supposed driving skills? Yes.”

“You wound me.” He puts a hand on his heart, still trying to keep up his act. However, a second later, his charade is broken by his laughter. I can’t help but giggle in response. His laugh is infectious. Upon hearing me, he grins. “Aww, you’re so adorable~”

I groan at this. “Joker, you know the rule. No flirting in the Metaverse.”

“You act like I follow the rules.” Unfortunately, he has a point. I just refuse to say as such out loud. I immediately tense up as he slinks an arm around my waist, remembering the last time resulted in him tickling me while the rest of the Phantom Thieves were present. Luckily, that doesn’t seem to be on his agenda today. “So, are you free tomorrow?”

I nod. “It’s a Sunday, so yes. Why do you ask?”

“I was wondering if you’d want to go ice skating, just the two of us.”

“It sounds delightful,” I reply, my response earning me a kiss on the cheek. That one kiss soon turns into two, then three, and before I can stop him, he’s peppering my face with little kisses. “Knock it off, you menace!”

He stops almost instantly. “Okay.”

I look warily at him, not trusting how quickly he ceased with the numerous kisses. Luckily for me, none of the others were paying attention to us. That doesn’t mean much, though. Something about the look in his eyes tells me that it’s only a matter of time before Joker continues his affectionate assault. I need to introduce a new topic before he strikes. My mind immediately goes back to ice skating. I don’t understand how my thought process leads to this, but I end up saying, “Hey, do you know what would be a good idea? Shoes with knives embedded in them.”

“No. We talked about this,” Joker replies. That’s right, we did have a similar discussion a couple of days ago. It didn’t last long. “No knife shoes.”

I’m not deterred by his refusal this time. I will win this hushed ‘argument’ now that I’ve had the past two days to debate it in my head. “But think about the practical uses. If someone were harassing you, you can kick them in the shin and knife them.”

“Is there any use that doesn’t involve hurting people?”

“You could aim for their heart.”

He shakes his head at my answer. “No murder, either.”

“If you have them on the ground, you could threaten them with the knife shoes.”

“Okay, is there any use where you’re not in any way trying to threaten people or cause bodily harm?”

“...no,” I grumble, hating to admit that I don’t have any non-violent purpose for owning them. “I still want knife shoes, though.”

“You’re not getting knife shoes.”

“Okay, compromise. How about ice skates but they’re knives?”

“You’re going to ice skate with knives?”

“No, I intend on using them on a daily basis.”

“Could you even walk in those?”

“Huh?” His question has me confused. “What are you trying to say?”

“You wouldn’t be able to walk in them. You can’t even walk in heels. What makes you think you could walk in knife shoes or even ice skates?”

“I can walk in heels.”

“No, you can’t.”

“I can walk in heels,” I repeat, sounding more indignant but keeping my voice at the current hushed volume.

“The one time you tried, you needed my help after two steps. And they weren’t even high heels.”

“They were too.”

“They were only two-inch heels.”

“So what?”

“My heels are taller than that, and I _run_ in them.” He gently nudges me with his foot as if trying to further emphasize his point. “If you couldn’t walk in those smaller heels, you can’t walk in knife shoes.”

“Do you think I can’t?”

“I _know_ you can’t.”

I can hear the implied challenge. He’s playing a dangerous game if he thinks that I’m going to bow out so easily. “Do you want to bet on it? Because I can and _will_ walk in them.”

“What do you wanna bet?”

That surprises me. I would’ve expected him to know what he wants if he wins. He normally does in these situations. “I’m open to suggestions.”

“You.”

“What?”

“I want to bet your virginity.”

Words alone cannot do justice in describing the fierce glare I shoot at him. I hope he knows that I want to fucking strangle him right now for his suggestion and that the _only_ thing preventing me from doing that is the fact that there would be witnesses to this attempted murder...not that I would murder him, but that's beside the point. With extreme self-control, I keep my voice down as I hiss, “Are you insane?”

“No~” he hums, extremely pleased with himself. “If I win, I want to take your virginity.”

“I am not taking you up on that bet. Even if I said I was open to suggestions, that one is horrible.”

“It’s a brilliant suggestion.”

“Bullshit. How ‘bout you stick it up your ass instead?”

“I’d like t-”

“Shut. Up,” I say before he can get another word out. “This is not happening.”

“So, are you admitting I’m right?”

“I made no such admission.”

“You are by refusing. You can either accept the bet or admit that you won’t be able to walk in ice skates. Your choice.”

Damn this fucking menace to hell and back. The last thing I want is to admit anything, especially that I was wrong. At the same time, Joker’s audacity to suggest betting something so...personal is infuriating.

It’s at this moment that something registers in my brain: it’s quiet...too quiet. Dread overtakes me. Taking a deep breath in some feeble attempt of emotional control, I turn around to face the rest of the thieves. The only ones talking are Noir and Queen, who are pointedly ignoring Joker and me. Panther is covering Violet’s ears, probably to protect her innocence involving Joker’s suggestion that everyone _heard_. Even Skull is surprisingly silent, which is maybe what tipped me off that something was up. Oracle, meanwhile, laughs after having probably held it in for an indeterminate length of time. “How long have you been listening?” I snap.

“And how much of that did you hear?” Joker adds, seemingly less perturbed than me.

“A while,” Panther replies, looking at least a little ashamed.

“Oracle asked us to be quiet,” Fox remarks.

“Wha? Don’t throw me under the bus, Inari!” Oracle says.

“What exactly did you hear?” I ask, rephrasing Joker’s unanswered question. “Don’t tell me you heard all of it.”

“Nah, but I heard most of it.” She grins, the expression unnerving given the circumstances. I do not want to know what’s going on in her head right now.

“Yeah,” Skull says, “she heard somethin’ about ‘knife shoes’ and was shushing us so she could listen.”

I huff, facing forward once again and crossing my arms. I hate that everyone else heard our conversation, especially...that. “For the record, the betting is off,” I snap.

“Good,” Mona responds. “I can come home tomorrow without you two doing things.”

Joker laughs at that. “Hah! I told you. You can’t walk in ice skates.”

“I could too,” I mutter.

“Sure, sure. Okay, who thinks Crow could walk in ice skates?”

I turn my head to face Joker. “What are you doing?”

“Proving you wrong.” The expression on his face is nothing short of smug as he looks at the others. “Does anyone think he could?”

I watch in shock as each of the thieves expresses their disagreement. Every single answer is no. “Panther, you don’t believe I could either?”

She shakes her head as she responds, “I saw you try to walk in heels. Sorry.”

“Damn you all.” I turn my attention back to the tracks, pissed that none of them are on my side. Typical.

I side-eye Joker as he leans his head against my shoulder. “I win,” he whispers in my ear.

“No, you don’t.”

“You never made your decision.” His tone lowers as he hums, “Accept the bet or admit you’re wrong.”

“No.”

“Are you afraid you’ll lose?”

“Of course not.”

“Then why are you so indecisive?”

“How about we save this conversation for a later time? This is hardly something to be discussing in front of other people.”

“Oh? Okay~” He nuzzles me, his hair tickling my cheek. I wonder if he knows that I’m actually deliberating on whether I should take him up on his bet or not. All I know is that, if I do, I _won’t_ lose to Joker. ~~~~


	17. 129. "I just wanted to hear your voice."

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 129 (posted Feb. 14, 2021): It's Ren and Goro's first Valentine's Day together. Goro has been planning this for a month now. He just hopes that Ren will be happy with it...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one really did not want to write itself until like 2 AM on Valentine's Day. I don't know why the motivation just wasn't coming, but it just wasn't. I'm glad I got it finished in time, but I'm probably going to be taking a break from these for the time being as I try to figure myself out.  
> Happy Valentine's Day, everyone! I hope you enjoy this one.

I used to despise Valentine’s Day.

Up until this year, all it had been was a painful reminder of something I both would never have nor deserved to have. The day was little more than an inconvenience when my sole focus was bringing ruin to Shido’s life.

Then Ren happened, and everything changed. Despite feeling unworthy of love, he gave it to me in spades. Now that we can spend it together, I find myself surprisingly looking forward to today. I have been planning this for a month now. Well, that’s not exactly true. Despite normally being too stubborn to seek the help of anyone else, I knew that this wasn’t something I was good at. I had approached Ann, figuring she would be the best person to go to. She had listened to my ideas, telling me what was good and giving suggestions of her own. I want it to be perfect, just like the one who stole my heart nearly two years ago. All I can do now is wait for his arri-

“Hi, honey~”

I nearly jump, whirling around to see Ren sitting cross-legged on my bed, a huge grin plastered on his face. Speak of the devil. I immediately notice the red rose between his teeth, but that is not what needs addressing first. “How...How did you get in here?”

“Your love summoned me.” Ren grabs the rose from his mouth as he speaks, idly twirling it with deft fingers.

“Love cannot summon anyone through a wall.”

“Yet here I am,” he replies with an extremely overdramatic shrug.

I am not fooled for a second. “Don’t tell me you picked the lock again.”

“Nope. Climbed through the window.”

He sounds extremely proud of this later achievement.  “Do I have to start barricading the window too?”

“You know I’ll just find another way in.” I know Ren well enough to realize he’s likely correct. He chuckles at my nonverbal agreement. In one fluid motion, he stands up and presents the rose to me. A blush blooms across my cheeks as he plants a quick kiss on my lips. “A beautiful rose for the precious love of my life~”

“I...thank you,” I stammer as I tenderly hold the proffered rose, much to Ren’s amusement. “It’s perfect.”

“Not as perfect as you~” he hums, chuckling as my blush deepens. “I also have this for you.”

He reaches into his surprisingly feline-absent bag and hands me a black heart-shaped box. The top is emblazoned with his phantom thief mask that appears intricately painted, and a red ribbon is expertly tied into a bow. I can only guess at how long this must have taken him. Knowing him, he probably spent weeks on the box alone. “I love it. It’s...I don’t know what to say.”

“Oh? Did I manage to surprise the great detective prince himself?”

“You’re always surprising me at every turn,” I reply, admiring Ren’s handiwork. “I almost don’t want to tamper with it.”

“I think the chocolate will make it worth it.”

“I’m sure it will be.” I reluctantly move away from him to place the rose and the box on the bedside table, opening a drawer as I do so. As I reach to grab something, Ren comes up behind me and wraps his arms around my waist. I chuckle as I remark, “Can you not keep your hands off me?”

“Nope.”

“Why am I not surprised?”

“Because you love me.” He gently kisses my neck, snickering as I instinctively tense up. We both know the first neck kiss usually turns into either tickles or hickeys. To my surprise, he doesn’t do either. “So what are we doing today?”

“You’ll see.”

“Keeping it a surprise?” he asks teasingly. “Are you going to be giving me chocolates too, my darling Akeppi?”

“Actually, I...did try to make this for you,” I say hesitantly as I turn in his hold to show him the object in my hands: a small white box with a gold ribbon.

He lets go of me to take the box in his hands. It’s almost like he didn’t expect me to actually give him chocolates. “Goro...?”

“I may have almost burnt the chocolate, and I’m sure you’ve received some that are much more delicious than mi-”

“You made these for me?” he asks, sounding so shocked since we both know my cooking and baking skills are...definitely not exemplary.

“Well, Ann explicitly told me homemade chocolate would be more meaningful and heartfelt, but yes. I made them, just for you.” He doesn’t say a word as he just stares at the box, a melancholy look crossing his face. His reaction concerns me. I had tried to do everything just right, so why has he gone so silent? “Ren, are you alright? I didn’t do something wrong, did I?”

He snaps out of it immediately, smiling happily. It...somehow feels forced. “Oh, no! I love it.”

“Ren, are you sure?”

“Of course! Why wouldn’t I be?”

“You looked like you were lost in thought, and not in a good way.” Ren doesn’t respond to that. His left hand moves to cover his mouth, a gesture he normally makes only when he’s uncomfortable. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing’s wrong. Come on, I wanna try these,” he adds, pulling me along to sit next to him on the bed. He’s about to unwrap the ribbon, but I grab his hand in both of mine before he can do so. “Hey-”

“Please. I know something is plaguing your thoughts. You know you can confide in me, yes?”

“I know,” he says after a moment of quiet deliberation.

“Then can you at least stop evading the issue and tell me what is troubling you?”

He doesn’t answer at first. We simply sit there, my hands holding one of his as his free hand holds the small box of chocolates. It doesn’t matter how long the silence lasts. I will stay here with him until he answers me, even if it takes the entire day. Eventually, he briefly says, “Last year.”

“Last year?” I repeat, hoping this would prompt him to elaborate.

Luckily, it does. “Last Valentine’s Day. After...you know. It kinda sucked.”

“How so?”

“It just...well, I did act normal. I got a lot of chocolates from my friends, and they thought I was fine. But when I was alone, I...”

“Ren...?”

“I couldn’t stop thinking about you. I was eating the chocolates, imagining what we would’ve done. It probably sounds dumb, but I was wishing you were there. And I wanted to see you again, maybe give you some chocolates. I wondered if...you would’ve given me some too, and... Even if I thought I never would, I...I just wanted to hear your voice. To see you again, and to hold you in my arms. I just...” I gently take the box from him, setting it aside before pulling him close. He tightly wraps his arms around me, clinging onto me as if he is worried I might vanish. For once, I don’t mind his cloying personality. I can’t blame him for his fears. I’ve disappeared on him too many times, claimed by deaths that refused to stick. His voice chokes up as he finishes, “I missed you so much, Goro.”

“I’m here now,” I murmur. “I’m not going anywhere.”

“I know, but back then...”

I let the conversation fade into silence. Right now, all I can do is try to comfort him. Absentmindedly rubbing his back with slow, circular strokes, I start to hum a tune he usually hums to me when I am not in a good state of mind. He recognizes it immediately. His own baritone joins in as he hums along. I can feel him relaxing in my embrace. After a bit of time has passed, I break the quiet ambiance. “Ren?”

“Yeah?” He at least sounds like he’s doing better.

“You said you imagined what we would do,” I start, standing up and holding out a hand to him. “Would you want to find out?”

The grin he gives me as he takes my hand is so purely heartwarming that it sends my own heart aflutter. “I would love that,” Ren replies, giggling a little when I bring his hand to my lips and kiss his knuckles.

“Why are you laughing for?”

“I didn’t think you could be this affectionate...not that you can top me,” he adds, his tone more than enough to indicate that he’s challenging me.

“Well, maybe I should prove you wrong today.”

“You won’t~”

I laugh, helping him to his feet. If he truly wants to play this game, I am more than happy to indulge him. “Very well. Let us go.”


	18. Meeting Sae's Cognitive Goro

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Goro thought he had seen it all in the Metaverse. In a world of flying banks and fights with mythical beings, nothing should surprise him. Then Sae's Palace happened. Working with the Phantom Thieves has been filled with surprises. There shouldn't be any more surprises now that the Treasure route is secured...but this Palace still has one last surprise. What do you do when you're met by yourself?
> 
> Based on this: https://ofhualiians.tumblr.com/post/634354835440992256/akeshu-but-like-joker-meets-saes-cognitive  
> Originally posted Nov. 13th, 2020.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this one is an older one, but I figured it and a later one I'm going to post another day didn't warrant having their own stories. Anyway, this idea spawned in like 0.2 seconds and went from there. That and I am a little sad we never did see what Sae's cognitive version of Goro would be (though we get a hint of it from a missable dialogue with Futaba). Truth be told, I love writing these types of interactions. The banter between Ren and Goro (while the former is being such a little shit) is always a highlight when I'm writing.  
> Update: Whoops! Forgot to name the chapter-

In the two years I have traversed the world of the Metaverse, I thought I had seen everything this world had to offer. The glitzy casino we are currently in is only the tip of the iceberg. This is a world where banks can fly in the sky and fighting mythological beings is a constant occurrence. One of the Palaces had even been a spaceport, complete with UFOs and having to go through sections of outer space. Nothing should be able to surprise me anymore.

That is, until Sae’s Palace. Ever since I had started working with the Phantom Thieves, with Joker, I have been surprised time and time again. But now that we have secured the route to the treasure, there shouldn’t be anything more to surprise me.

How foolish I am to think that is the case.

We have just crossed the Bridge of Judgment to head out of the Palace when we are greeted by the sight of a…very familiar brunet. This must be Sae’s cognition of me. Seeing for myself how someone else sees me is jarring. It’s like looking into a distorted mirror: staring at yourself yet it’s not your actual reflection meeting your gaze. Everyone else tenses up as if they’re anticipating a fight. Well, everyone except Joker. He decides to approach the cognition without a second thought…or perhaps even a first thought.

Upon noticing the raven-haired thief, the cognition grins, giving that picture-perfect smile I use so often while in public. I slowly move away from the group to observe since it’s clear this won’t end in a fight. This cognition is so innocent and soft that I doubt it would even put up a fight if we attacked. It makes me want to puke. “Oh, hello, Amamiya-kun. I was hoping to see you, actually,” the cognition adds, a pink tinge dusting its cheeks.

Wait. Is that thing…blushing?

Joker tilts his head as he stops a few feet away from the cognition. He moves his mask off his face, but I can’t make out his expression at this angle. “Oh? What is it, Akeppi?”

My eyes narrow at that damn nickname. Why is Joker even bothering to speak to it, as if it’s me? That thing is nothing like me. It’s just a cognition. It isn’t worth our time, though I don’t say this out loud. I’m too busy trying to keep myself from showing my outrage as the cognition’s blush becomes more obvious. Its voice is barely louder than a whisper as it speaks. “Wow, you’re hot.”

_What._

I freeze up, unable to hide my shock at the cognition’s comment. Why is it even saying something so…so absurd? Why is it even acting like this?

And…how the hell does it know!?

Wait, no. I don’t have a crush on Ren Amamiya. I don’t. Sure, I spend a lot of what little free time I get with him. I can acknowledge that he is charming and captivating. I also suppose he would be considered attractive by many. But I do not have a crush on him. I _can’t_ have a crush on him.

The only good thing about any of this is that even Joker’s slightly surprised; it’s barely noticeable and only for a split second, but it’s still there. His lips twist into a sly smirk as he recovers so easily. He’s facing the cognition, but it’s almost as if Joker is staring right at me as he asks, “Is that what you think?”

The cognition nods, much to my annoyance. “I’m always talking about you to Sae-san when we aren’t discussing a case we’re working on. She likely knows that I have a crush on you.”

I have to fight the urge to shoot the cognition right between its stupid wide eyes before it goes spilling any more nonsense. Oh, how I want it to just shut up. Unfortunately, that wouldn’t be very becoming of the detective prince. I’ve worked so hard to build up this charade and I can’t let it shatter now. “Joker, we should leave,” I interject, trying to keep my irritation out of my voice. “We’ve secured the route to the treasure already. There’s no point in talking to Sae’s cognition of me.”

“We can get some insight into Sae’s views,” Joker replies. Oh, _now_ he comes up with some valid reasoning. It’s infuriating. “And how could I ignore such a pretty face?” he adds, giving the smuggest grin imaginable, even going so far as to wink.

New plan: let’s just shoot Joker now.

The cognition’s blush deepens, looking embarrassed as it replies, “If you see me as pretty, then you must be gorgeous. I…may have called you that to Sae-san once.”

Great. I had wanted to forget about that. It had been a rare slip of the tongue, nothing more. Joker, however, seems to think otherwise. He chuckles as he wraps an arm around the cognition, his grin widening as the cognition reciprocates the action. My stomach clenches, and I shove the surge of intense jealousy deep into the recesses of my mind. I refuse to feel anything about this. Even as he gently caresses the cognition’s cheek. “That’s so cute. Is there anything else you’ve told her?”

I’m almost grateful as the cognition frowns. “We haven’t spoken much. She doesn’t trust me, not since she accused me of stealing data off her laptop.”

“You, steal data?” Joker asks, not missing a beat as he adds, “You’re too pretty to be a criminal.”

“You’re pretty, though-”

I’ve had enough of this. With a small huff of annoyance, I say, “Joker, it’s clear we aren’t going to get anything out of this. Let us leave.”

This time, Joker does relent, moving away from the cognition. “I’ll see you later,” Joker says to it, blowing it a kiss as he walks away. I follow him and the rest of the thieves, who have been watching in absolute confusion. I am already dreading our next conversation.

We leave the Palace with very little fanfare. Everyone says their goodbyes, and we all split off. Before I can leave, Ren grabs a hold of my wrist, looking quite smug as my own face heats up. “What is it, Ren?” I ask curtly, hoping he’ll take the hint and leave.

He doesn’t, of course. He has that cocky smirk he usually only gets as Joker as he pulls me close. “So…you like me?” he asks in that low, sexy tone-

You did not hear that from me.

“No, I don’t like you in the way you think.”

“Sure about that?” Ren is right in my face, those gray eyes of his seeing right through my statement. I can’t help but notice how beautiful his eyes are. “The cognition said it, Akeppi.”

There he goes again with that stupid nickname. “That wasn’t the real me. It doesn’t count.”

“Does too.”

“How so?”

“Because Sae must have a reason to think that you do.”

“Am I not allowed to talk about you on occasion?”

“On occasion?” Ren snickers as he repeats my words. “You liar. It sounds like you talk about me all the time.”

“I do no such thing. The cognition was clearly exaggerating.”

“I don’t believe you,” he nearly whispers. His breath is hot against my ear. Damn is he such a beautiful, distracting menace. Wait, no. He’s little more than an inconvenience. Distracting, yes, but decidedly an inconvenient part of my life as of this moment. “I think the detective’s fallen in love with the thief he’s trying to catch.”

I’m tempted to back up and put some distance between us, but I refuse to let him see that he’s getting to me. It would only prove him right. “You’re wrong, Ren. I do not ramble incessantly about you, nor do I-”

“No,” he interrupts, pressing his index finger on my lips to silence me, “ _you’re_ wrong.”

It’s only now that I finally pull away. “This is getting us nowhere. Perhaps we should call it a night.”

“Okay,” he says, sounding a little saddened at my statement.

“Well, I’ll see you later.”

“Goodnight, honey,” he hums, smirking as my face flushes. He is so infuriating, god damnit. I can hear his laughter behind me as I turn around and briskly walk away, not letting him have another moment of satisfaction from teasing me.


End file.
